#this blog still misses T-Dog

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

hey!! I adore your fanfics. is it cool if i ask for some of your headcanons about the walking dead?

Hi, friend! I'm happy you're having fun reading them!

Any headcanons I have are sprinkled here and there in the chapters and they're all very silly. Glenn really liking marshmallows and LOTR, Carol's favorite restaurant having been Waffle House, Rick being a fan of cream soda and rockabilly, Shane being really into Zeppelin, etc.

Some of the headcanons are based on things referred to or hinted at in the show, while others are facts I've heard about the actors who portray the characters, such as the one where Daryl hates peanut butter, which is based on the actor who portrays him, Norman Reedus, who hates peanut butter irl. Glenn's bday as being Dec 21 is because Steven Yeun's is Dec 21st.

See? All so silly (and mainly food related lol)

The one I have where T-Dog and Daryl were good friends is one I have in the stories that I think is the closest to a proper headcanon, and the one where T-Dog developed a crush on Carol. (Can you tell I think T-Dog deserved better in the show?) XD

The other one I think fits well is how Lori in the series is a "loss mom" (a woman who's miscarried repeatedly), along with her being rhesus negative (having a Rh- blood type, which is the most rare, and can contribute to difficulty with pregnancy). I believe it made sense with her situation and marriage with Rick that she was a loss mom.

minor spoiler regarding this in the cut, just in case!

I also reasoned it would lend more gravitas and make that scene where she panic-takes those pills even more heartwrenching for her; to be successfully carrying, but then have that moment where the fear wins (before she changes her mind and throws them up).

[russellsppttemplates]

So... pure and so you (Charles Leclerc)

Going back home means Charles sees how you've been healing, and your parents haven't missed it either

Note: english is not my first language. I know it's past Christmas, but this still counts, right?

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: talks about having kids

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Is your mother making those biscuits I really like? Those fluffy ones, they're like little cakes actually", Charles asked, his hand over the console and resting on your thigh as he turned left for the final cut to your house.

"She said she was planning on making them these afternoon, I can't wait!", you squealed, clapping your hands together at the prospect, seeing your parents left the gate open so you could drive in.

Parking the car, Charles ensured it was safe before coming out of it as well, being greeted by your family dog while you hugged your parents, "hello buddy, how are you? You're very excited to see us, hm? Yes you are!", Charles cooed, rubbing his belly as he wagged his tail at the attention he was receiving.

You hugged your parents before looking for your boyfriend, "Arlo loves Charles more than he loves me", you chuckled, seeing the labrador run back to you as Charles followed him.

"Hi, how are you?", Charles offered as he kissed your mother's cheeks, opting to shake your father's hand as you walked inside, "did you have a good drive back here?", he questioned him, "yes, not too bad actually. It wasn't too busy", your boyfriend replied, seeing you store your coats and get comfortable in your parents' house.

After lunch, your mother asked for help with baking while your father and Charles helped with preparing the table to you could then roll the dough properly.

It was a sight to behold. You were helping your mother with Christmas cookies and the cakes your boyfriend mentioned, your clothes littered with flour stains as you touched your mother's cheek with some of the mixture, containing your laugh as she didn't seem to notice the powder on her skin.

You were happy, giggly and you had a glow that Charles was sure put all of the products you had back home to shame.

"It's good to see her like this", Charles commented when he felt your father's eyes on him, "work has been a lot lately, and she'll only listen to so much of what I say and take the advice even less than I'd like", he chuckled.

Your father shook his head, "She's always been like that. It was worrisome for a little bit, and we always make sure she's not pushing herself too much. And we know we have you in our team, too", the older man touched a Charles' shoulder, rubbing it slightly before he offered him a drink.

After wishing your parents a good night, you and Charles headed to your room upstairs, needing to catch up on some sleep after the busy day. Your old bedroom had slightly changed since you moved out to live with your boyfriend. Your parents swapped your single bed for a double one, for whenever you and Charles visited, and updated the colour of the walls, wanting to keep it on the neutral side in case they needed it for other guests, "are you showering now or after me?", Charles asked, grabbing a towell from himself, "I'll go after you, I need to hang my clothes first", you smiled, kissing his lips as he went to the bathroom.

Looking through your wardrobe, you noticed your mother still kept the family albums in there, remembering something about the downstairs drawers being humid and her worry about loosing the memories. You flickered through the pages, recalling some memories from when you were younger, some of them you probably constructed by other people telling you the moments.

Charles walked in a little while later, ruffling his hair with a towell only in a t-shirt and underwear, "you can go now, amour", he said as he noticed you closing the album, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you walked to take a shower.

You were already in bed when you noticed Charles looking at the books, "you want to look at what's inside them, don't you?", you chuckled as his eyes lit up, "I'm not too tired to look at them, and I bet there are some good memories in there", he confessed.

Opening the book while your boyfriend pulled you to rest against his chest, "this is so pretty", you appreciated all the details on the pages, either doodles or descriptions from the moment when the picture was taken.

"Look at these cheeks!", Charles groaned as he pointed at a picture of you. From the date on the page, you were around four, two pigtails on your curly hair and a toothy smile, "if our kids have your cheeks, which I hope they do, I won't be able to stop kissing them, I know I just won't", he breathed out.

"Do you think about that a lot?", you wondered, looking at his face as you adjusted your position slightly, genuinely curious about the subject. It had been something you had talked about before and it seemed to come to again.

"Yes, I do. I still think we should wait a little bit longer, get married first, enjoy married life just you and me and then we can think about little ones, but everytime I see a child or someone asks, it's you I see. With a baby bump, then a little baby in your arms, and we play with them and love in them like they deserve", he cooed, rubbing the tip of his nose on your cheek, kissing it softly.

"Me too", you smiled, "I mean, its always you I see whenever I think about the future. And it looks so good. Sometimes it looks scary, because I don't know how it will play out, but I'll have you with me, so all will be well", you admitted, kissing his lips properly.

You had been friends before you dated, and it has been a whole process to get you to be this open to him when you started dating, never wanting to put too much on his plate as he had his own things to deal with, not wanting to burden him and not wanting to lose him from your life.

"We're a team, amour, there's no need to fear", he said, closing the book and setting it down on the floor, cuddling you to him.

The next morning was slow. Charles' lips littered kisses on your neck and cheeks, seeing the smile as you slowly woke up, "it's Christmas, ma belle", you heard his whisper, his eyes looking for yours, "Merry Christmas, handsome, I love you", you muttered, pulling your hands out from under the covers and cupping your boyfriend's' cheeks, rubbing the stubbly skin before kissing him.

"I love how smiley you are", Charles complimented, big coats and scarf on as you walked on the trail after having breakfast, occasionally pestering your mother with a fallen tree branch or twigs as she thought some animal was crawling up her skin.

"Am I not smiley regularly?", you wondered, knowing what he meant. Coming home meant, after a lot of work on yourself over the years, you would enjoy yourself without any outside pressures. You were amongst family and in the safe place you grew up. No prying eyes, no one commenting or second guessing what you said, wore or looked like.

"You are, but you're carefree, I think. You're not so stressed, your inner child is showing so much more, and it's so... pure. So you", he smiled, kissing the side of your head as he pulled you to walk closer to him.

They had both become adults way faster than the rest of the people their age. Charles' career forced him to grow up earlier and grow thicker skin very early on, and because you were there with him, too, you were also taken with the wave. You started working as soon as you finished your degree, and while you wouldn't complain about it, it did come with a lot of work and investment of yourself that you lost some of your younger years.

"Whenever we are not doing well, when it gets too much, we will do this. Visit your parents, do all the childish things we want to do, no matter how silly they may be", Charles stated as he rubbed your palm with his thumb, "I never want you to give up this side of you, and I'm willing to do anything to see you smile like that again and again".

Smiling at his words at chuckling slightly at the fact that there was no way this man was ever getting away from you, you held out your pinky, "I promise", you smiled as you two laced fingers, sealing it with a kiss.

[gam3-b01]

winter

pairing(s): jeon wonwoo x reader

genre(s): angst

wc: ~1.3k

warnings: suggestive content (hankypanky related activities), just sad hours in general, minors dni just to be safe

(a/n: my first post on this blog, this was one of my earliest drafts and i needed to get it out of my system ahahsjdnd. the way some people might know who i am because i used the term hanky panky is concerning but also hilarious, if you see this i love you bro sorry for angst hours i stayed up too late to make sane decisions sorry i had to. song inspo for this fic is winter by two feet)

It's not a thing, right? This hasn't happened before.

But the familiarity with which you look up at him from under the covers slaps Wonwoo in the face before he has the time to process the content haziness clouding your eyes. His tense frame relaxes involuntarily, and he slips in beside you but not before checking your bare skin for any bruises he might have accidently left after almost soldering you to the mattress barely ten minutes ago. As he slips an arm around your middle and you tell him without any kindness whatsoever that his hands are way too cold for you (and that he should probably get checked for anaemia because, and he quotes, "even hell freezing over generates more fucking warmth than you do"), he realises he has to stop lying to himself and acknowledge the fact that realistically, this has actually definitely happened before.

This exact night, every single frame of it, happened last year. And the year before that. And the year before that one? No, the both of you were still together back then. Probably. What year was three years ago? Time was always a muddy, comically abstract concept when it came to each other for the both of you.

Maybe it would be easier for him to count the years winter to winter. Because when Wonwoo visits his hometown at the beginning of every December, a series of events occur. He sets his bags down at his place and spends the first week in radio silence recuperating with his family, ignoring the 20 odd messages he gets from Mingyu about his dog and updates (read: gossip) from their shared workplace. The next week usually is spent catching up with old friends mostly out of obligation, and the third week is occupied by Christmas. The fourth-ish week is when all of his friends asking about you begins to get to his head. By around the 28th of December, he's sick of lying awake in his childhood bed, staring at the ceiling as he tries to forget things that should never have happened in the first place. Eventually he sits up, runs a hand through his hair, puts on his glasses, and spritzes on something that you liked to call "sandalwood crack" before shrugging on his jacket and heading out.

Where to though? He pretends to think for a while before giving up. And when he steps into the bar after paying for his cab, he is never, ever surprised or secretly relieved when he spots you sitting in the stool furthest away from the air conditioning. You look wasted, but the soda cans strewn about you indicate otherwise. You've stopped drinking after the breakup. You're doing well with sobriety. He opens with that like the asshole he is, and you have the decency to cuss at him like a sailor and pass him a stool as you say something vaguely self-depreciating as a joke about the near-alcoholism you contracted back then. He opts for silence. And you ask him to take it easy despite him having opened the fire. Ever tolerant. Like the gentle undercurrents of a river (not like you didn't have a temper on you, you just tended to be nice when you saw him after long periods of time. Was it because you missed him? The mere thought had him shrivelling up a little inside). Wasn't he supposed to be the water sign between you both? He remembers the natal chart phase you had when you were nineteen, which reminds him you were his best friend of nine years before the both of you stopped talking. He expertly shoves that piece of information away before it tries to hurt him one more time.

(...What kind of best friend asks, no, begs him to leave and never contact them again? Maybe the kind whose best friend actually proceeded to do exactly that without ever putting up a fight? Fuck.)

Things somehow, without fail, end up leading you both to the nearest motel when one of you ends up saying something incredibly reckless and all the other person can do is gape hopelessly, words murdered in cold blood right when they were about to be bailed out from their throat. The rest of a night is a senseless, irresponsible blur, and then?

The rough part begins.

One of you is going to leave in the next thirty minutes if Wonwoo's doing his gut arithmetic right. He wished he sucked at math sometimes, he really did.

However, he blinks a bit. Something feels off, something feels different. You're not leaving (is it his turn this time..?). Instead, you're turning around, eyes vulnerable and still blown a little wide as you touch his hair with a flavour of fondness he could not imitate even if he tried his damndest to.

He freezes for only a second before his lips seek yours out of habit. He truly loathes the way he groans at how much it affects him, but what else is he supposed to do when he knows you're trying to hold back that little sound you make when you get desperate for him? He's almost willing to let you take the lead because he feels like his system is going into overdrive, willing to let you finally ruin whatever's left of him, but sanity prevails by a hanging thread as he takes back control from you with a firm hand on your jaw. His grip is gentle unlike earlier, and despite knowing you like it when he's mean to you, his eyes shine with something completely different when he breaks the kiss for a moment to take in everything he can about you right now and burn this anomaly into his memory.

(Because what else will he be ever be able to think of on every single cold, miserable night for many years to come after that look you gave him before he kissed you? That look that made it look like you still loved him, why did you have to do that?)

You're staring at him like you've been burned, and he's trying his absolute best not to flinch away when he sees raw, unabashed hurt begin to filter through your soft irises.

"Don't look at me like that." You start.

"Like what?"

"Like you-", you gulp nervously, eyes quickly losing the content sheen radiating off of you earlier.

"-like you actually want me or something."

Externally, the tenderness in his eyes is instantly replaced by whatever the fuck he usually looks like, but internally, he's trying his best not to scream. Your words are unfair, cruel even. How can the one person who knows him like the back of their hand not grasp the one fundamental truth that makes up his very core?

The alarm system inside his head built just for you tells him you feel sick, just like he does. He knows you've gleaned that much as well, and makes no effort to stop you as you slip out of the bed with the sheets hugging your chest in one fluid motion.

"I feel so sick, Wonwoo."

"I know."

Your heart is as tangled up as his is, and no matter how many times the both of you manage to land into each other's arms, neither of you seem to be capable of unravelling the other without tearing everything apart.

He watches you collect yourself before turning to him, face stone cold, with eyes that now look foreign to him as you deliver the parthian shot.

"I think that I should go."

[torukmaktoskxawng]

'anla - part six

Masterlist

Summary: Ao'nung and Y/n settle into a new relationship while a father/daughter bond needs mending. Y/n decides it's finally time to visit the Spirit Tree again.

Pairing: Ao'nung/Fem!Na'vi!Sully Reader

Warnings: Mature language, time skips, HEAVY angst, depression, older sibling syndrome, mentions of death, canon compliance, father/daughter trouble, fluff, etc.

posted on ao3

Word Count: 5k+

Tag: #'anla ao'nung fic

Na'vi Words: Sänrr Rong - Glow Tunnel, tulkun - whale like animal, akula - shark like animal, Iknimaya - Rite of Passage, tsurak - skimwing, kurkung - asshole, taronyu - hunter, marui - house/pod, ilu - plesiosaur like animal, olo'eyktan - clan leader, kuru/tswin - queue braid, tsmukan - brother, Ranteng Utralti - Metkayina Spirit Tree, tsmuke - sister, nantang - dog like animal

Taglist (bold indicates “could not tag”):  @bangtanxberm @aonungmyaddiction @lv9su @aisselasstuff @yourusername1 @amortencjja @king-julian6201 @gg-trini @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @mikeyswifie @heart-an0n @iloveavatar @urdads-gf  @kentfisherswifee6 @sakurayuki8655-blog @ken-zah @nilrilie @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r @iovemoonyy @sopluto @frvv

A/N: Thank you so much for 700 followers!

Despite not telling anyone what had happened at Sänrr Rong, everyone noticed the significant change in Y/n's attitude and everyone knew that whatever changed her tune happened at that tunnel. 

It has been over a month since she kissed Ao'nung and she's almost back to the way she was before the tragedy of her twin brother's death. She was flying more than usual without feeling the need to watch her siblings like a hawk, and sometimes her siblings would join her on these flights. She would play more often than watch over the other kids doing so and she would smile more than she had in a very long time. The more she talked, the more her voice was rid of the rough sound of sandpaper, eventually returning to normal. That's not to say she had completely healed from her loss. Y/n's smiles were still small and sometimes sad, but they were less forced and more genuine. There would be a day or two when she needed to be alone again with her thoughts, but those days were starting to be far or few between. 

And of course, she wasn't the only one slowly but surely healing. Her family was as well, although there was still some obvious tension between Y/n and her father, unspoken words still bubbling underneath the surface. Y/n had said everything she had ever wanted to say to her father that fateful day, but Jake couldn't afford to say his piece. Sometimes that man was too emotionally constipated and unfortunately, recent events have shown just how damaging that is to his children, especially Y/n and Lo'ak. To keep each other from thinking about it, the sister and brother would spend whole days together and entertaining the others. Lo'ak took all the kids to see Payakan many times over the months after losing Neteyam, and it was safe to say tulkun riding was a great success and a therapeutic activity for everyone involved. Much like how they spent time away in Sänrr Rong, the kids now spend their free afternoons with Payakan after finishing up any chores they had in the morning. Of course, the teens still like cliff diving, but they have been wanting to keep Tuk and her little friends included more often than not nowadays, so they have stuck to activities the younger ones can participate in, such as fin-gliding with Payakan.

However, the Archwas never left abandoned. Y/n would go there every time she needed to be left alone and recharge. Her family respected the fact that there were gonna be days when she needed to go back to missing her twin and promised to leave her to her thoughts... just as long as she always came back to them. 

She hated lying to them sometimes. Yes, she'd escape to Sänrr Rong some days to be alone, but sometimes she needed an excuse to sneak away. She wished she didn't use Neteyam as an excuse, but internally, she knew her twin would laugh his ass off if he knew why.

While impatiently waiting on one of those days, she sat on the edge of the cliff and let her legs gently swing in the air, deep in thought. Y/n was watching the clouds until a pair of large hands covered her vision and a voice close enough to feel their breath in her hair called out behind her, "Guess who."

She grins knowingly, "Rotxo? Is that you?"

A laugh is pulled from her lungs when Ao'nung pulls his hands away from her face and instead grabs at her waist, pulling her away from the ledge while ruthlessly poking and prodding at her ribcage. Y/n squeals with uncontrollable laughter, trying to curl up and protect herself while Ao'nung playfully growls at her, "Take that back, Forest Girl."

He tightens his arms around her for a brief squeeze and relents after she makes a half-assed apology between gasps of laughter. Keeping her in his arms, Ao'nung gets comfortable, sitting down in the grass as the high winds rustle the vegetation around them. Y/n's laughter died down eventually, flinching occasionally if Ao'nung's fingers touched a ticklish spot, now high-strung and giggling under her breath. She tilts her head to peer over her shoulder and finally gets a good look at him, "Ah, Seaweed Brain. To what do I owe the displeasure?"

"Keep it up," he jibes back, "And I will toss you over the edge." 

She makes an amused sound at the back of her throat but otherwise says nothing. They sit that way for a while, warmed by their shared body heat as the wind brushes through their hair, tangled legs gently swinging over the cliffside. Ao'nung breaks the moment of peace by rummaging in a small pouch he had tied to his belt that morning, "I got you something."

"What is it?" Y/n leans her head back to rest against his shoulder as he lifts his hand out to hers, presenting a small object resting in his giant palm. It was obviously an arrowhead, but the material looked different than what a traditional arrow was made of. Once Y/n had the object in her hand, she ran her thumb over it and recognized it to be made out of an akula tooth, causing her lips to turn up into an excited smile, "It's beautiful."

"It looks fragile but I promise that it is strong. You'll be able to use it for your arrows. I can show you where to gather more of them."

In the meantime, in order to keep it safe, she fashioned the arrow into the necklace she wore, feeling the object rest comfortably against her collar. She turned her head enough to look back at Ao'nung and smiled, her hand reaching behind and resting against the back of the reef boy's neck, "Thank you."

He grinned obnoxiously back, overdramatically enunciating his words as if he were reciting an ancient prophecy, "May your arrows always fly true~"

"You are ridiculous." Y/n rolled her eyes with a scoff, despite the smile still gracing her lips. They leaned back into a comfortable silence, looking out over the vast ocean before she spoke up once more, "You're one season away from completing your Iknimaya. Are you excited?"

"Aren't you? My father mentioned that you have been hunting more. You might be able to finish the trials with the rest of us instead of waiting. Rotxo was upset that you managed to catch more fish than him last week," Ao'nung laughed when Y/n proudly beamed and winked at him in response, "I would not be surprised if you finished the trials before him."

"Even if I did, I don't have my own tulkun. Lo'ak would be able to finish the Iknimaya since he has Payakan, but without a tulkun, I wouldn't be able to fully become Metkayina."

"But you can still do the other trials. You can still tame a tsurak. I know you can."

"I know, it's just... it wouldn't be the same."

Her voice lowered, trailing off as she got lost in thought. Ao'nung knew that this particular tone in her voice meant several meanings. Without saying it, Y/n confessed that it wouldn't be the same as flying with Evi, or the same as sharing these achievements with her twin. She didn't have to specify for Ao'nung, he already knew what she meant.

Instead of asking her to be specific, Ao'nung tightened his hold around her, holding her like he wished he was brave enough to do a few months ago, "I know."

She gladly takes his comfort, sighing in defeat, "And besides, I wouldn't put it past my father to be stubborn and refuse my place in the trials."

"Why? I thought that's what your father wanted you to do?"

"It was. But lately, we haven't been... on speaking terms."

"Lo'ak mentioned that. 'Said something about how you and Toruk Makto have been driving your mother 'up the wall,'" Ao'nung's ears pin back while shyly admitting, "I am not sure I know what that means."

Y/n half-heartedly laughs, "It means we're driving her crazy."

"Oh... Yeah, you're pretty good at that."

Ao'nung's smugness is interrupted by a sharp elbow jabbing into his ribs and he yelps in response, Y/n's scowl looking as adorable as ever to him as she cursed, "Kurkung."

~~~~~~~~~

Neytiri usually loved how stubborn her mate could be, and she loved it even more when that stubbornness was passed down to their children. But lately, that stubbornness is driving her absolutely insane and it might also be tearing her family apart more than it already is.

She had been telling Jake that he needed to talk to Y/n and he needed to act soon, or else Y/n would grow up and become taronyu right under his nose. And then it will be too late for forgiveness. Y/n's childhood will be gone permanently and there would be no way for Jake to fix it. Neytiri has a fear that her daughter will only continue to distance herself from her father as she gets older until there's nothing left to mend, so the Na'vi woman has done everything in her power to keep that from happening. She had talked to both Jake and Y/n separately, but nothing appeared to work.

Jake has the Human mindset that Y/n just needs her distance from him, while Y/n secretly resents her father for not just telling her how he really feels. Neytiri, luckily, doesn't have the same mindset as her mate so she took matters into her own hands. 

One afternoon, Neytiri refused to let either of their stubborn asses into her marui and told them to go hunting together, threatening to not let them back in until they had talked it all out. "We are a family. We have lost too much to be anything but! Start acting like a family."

Like father, like daughter, they begrudgingly left to go fishing together, taking their respective tsurak and ilu before swimming out beyond the reef to hunt for their family's next meal. They stubbornly tried to do so in silence, but too much hurt and words hung between them, making this hunting trip just as painful. While Jake was glad Y/n appeared to be doing better, smiling and laughing like normal whenever she was around friends, he couldn't help but feel hurt whenever her eyes landed on him and her smile would immediately disappear. Even now, when they were alone, Y/n looked as though time had not passed since Neteyam's death, her expression unhappy as her gaze looked off into the distance as if she had not healed at all. Maybe, whenever her father was concerned, she hadn't healed at all like everyone thinks.  

"Your first word was 'fly,'" was the first thing that came to mind, and he had no idea where that came from. Y/n suddenly turned and stared oddly at her father, but said nothing in response. Jake looks out over the ocean, replaying the memory in his head, "Neteyam was sick that day and we were scared that you would catch it, so we separated the two of you. I took you flying while your mother and grandmother tended to your brother. I was trying to occupy your mind, holding you in my arms while Bob wandered around.  Anyway, you and I were flying and you mumbled that word. It was a moment that I alone witnessed and cherished forever. Your mom was sad that she had missed it. Mo'at believed it was a sure sign that you would become one of the best flyers someday, and she was right. She also believed that because you spoke your first word to me, you would always trust me and come to me first for anything... I wish she was right about that, too."

He finally turned back to his daughter, ears drooping as he reassured her, "Not that it's your fault, kiddo. It's mine. I pushed you away, I expected too much from you and Neteyam. From all of you. There's no excuse for what I did, not even war or the fear I have of losing you. Everything that's happened until this very moment has been my fault, and... I am so, so sorry."

They sit silently on their respective tsurak and ilu for some time while Y/n carefully stares at her father and tries to piece together a puzzle in her head, the soft waves bobbing the pair of them up and down in the water as she gathers her thoughts. 

Jake looked so old at that moment, aging far past his years as if cryosleep had finally caught up to him, devastated and beside himself as he stared back, hoping his daughter could see how genuine he was. It's funny, in a strange, twisted way. Y/n had grown up believing everyone when they said her father was the great and mighty Toruk Makto, one of only six throughout the history of the Na'vi. They all described Jakesully as a strong warrior, as sturdy as the trees and unforgivable as the ocean, whereas whenever Y/n looked at him, all she could see was her dad. He's not particularly tall -at least not compared to Tonowari- or strong or unforgivable. He's just... ordinary to her. An ordinary man. As a child, sure, she believed all the stories told of him and considered him her number one hero, but as she grew older, she saw less of the legend and more of the man behind it. It's hard to picture the man who grounds you whenever you do something wrong as the same man who brought the clans together in a time of great sorrow. 

Even though Y/n was easily able to separate her father from the great Toruk Makto, others might not be able to, such as Jake himself. She could only imagine the burden placed on his shoulders as a husband, father, and leader. She knew he had to make a difficult choice by choosing his family over his clan, believing he could protect both from the Sky People by running away. In the human stories she'd heard in the past, usually, the hero sacrifices everything they love for the greater good. A quote she could faintly remember, something about a Vulcan stating "needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" or something like that. They all start to blur together and she can't remember which of those stories were fact or fiction. Either way, when she thought of those stories, she didn't picture her father as any of those heroes. To her, he was the olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan and war hero of the Battle of the Hallelujah Mountains. Toruk Makto wasn't about sacrifices or choosing who to save. He was about bringing the clans together to mourn, to love, and to fight as one. 

So losing Neteyam wasn't just hard on Jake as a father but as a leader as well. A father protects, but so does a leader, and he failed at both of them. Soon, Y/n will be sixteen years old, and no matter how hard she tried to think like an adult, she couldn't imagine what her father must be going through right now. She couldn't imagine the pain he was feeling, losing the very child that made him a father in the first place. Parents shouldn't have to bury their children. Parents are meant to grow old and die without ever having to worry about their own child's death. They should be the ones to go first... not their child. Not their sweet, innocent babies.

A tear slipped down Y/n's face when she first noticed her own father silently crying throughout the silence. A part of her wished to never have children for the sake of sparing herself this kind of pain, while another part of her wished to see what it'd be like to raise children one day and see if she could do better than the people who came before her. Jake wasn't the best father in the world, but he was hers, and she wanted to be proud of that fact, "I said I would never forgive you, Dad. That doesn't mean that I'll never stop loving you."

He peered up at her, watching her carefully as she rolled her lips when her tear slipped into her mouth. She sniffled quietly as she whispered, "I-- I can't help it. You're my father. And... And maybe someday soon I'll learn how to forgive, but I could never forget." 

Jake tried to collect himself, taking deep breaths and wiping his own tears away, nodding, "That's okay kiddo. I understand."

"How... how did your brother die?"

Jake winced, hissing silently between his teeth. It wasn't a topic suitable for children, but after everything his daughter had been through, it's safe to say her innocence had been shattered a while ago, no matter how hard her parents had tried to contain it. It breaks Jake a little more every day realizing just how young all his children are and just how much they have already gone through in the early stages of their lives. Nevertheless, Jake's kids barely know anything about his brother and they try not to press, but he knew eventually he'd have to tell them.

"A gun, I think. Or a knife. I... I honestly can't remember. That was so long ago... it almost didn't feel real. And-- I'll be honest, I wasn't a very nice person back on Earth. I was completely wasted when I was told my brother was dead."

Y/n nods but doesn't comment on that. She can't exactly picture her father being some sort of drunk or a monster. She had seen his video diaries that Norm had kept for studying, so she knew what her father looked like as a human, but a monster? No, she couldn't even imagine. "I think you should talk about Uncle Tommy more. I think we'd all like to hear more about him."

"Yeah," he replies solemnly, looking as gray as the sky ahead of them, "I wish you could have met him."

It would've been nice to see where the twin gene came from. To see her father's brother in a side-by-side comparison would be funny in its own way. Y/n had always wondered what Tomsully was like or if he was anything like her dad. 

The heavy conversation didn't really feel suited for fishing and Y/n wasn't exactly enjoying herself any more than Jake was. She felt her fingers begin to fidget as she quietly asked, "Can... Can we go to the Spirit Tree? Just us?"

Jake turned back, eyes softening into something that resembled a gentle father more than a war hero, "Of course, sweetheart. Whatever you want."

~~~~~~~~~

The Cove looked the same as when Ao'nung had taken Y/n there... right before everything went to shit. As she and Jake dive down to the Spirit Tree, she begins to get nervous, her heart wanting to leap up into her throat. Her father nodded in encouragement and kept a vigil watch while she connected to a tendril of the tree, taking her kuru braid and connecting the tswin to the branch. 

The moment she closed her eyes, she found herself standing on the beach of the village. Confusion wrapped around her brain as she looked around, wondering what she was doing there. She was alone, watching everyone go about their day as normal, only... none of the faces looked clear. It was as though a dense fog was placed over the faces and a part of Y/n wondered if she had dreamt of her and her father going out to fish and visit the Spirit Tree. That is... until she heard a familiar voice.

"Ah, there you are!"

Spinning around, her voice nearly got caught in her throat as her eyes set on an approaching figure, "Neteyam..."

Walking tall and confident, Neteyam smiled brightly as he walked up to his twin sister, beckoning over his shoulder, "Come on. You said you wanted to fly."

Ah. A memory. Y/n had forgotten that the Spirit Tree only contains a past loved one's memories unless she strayed from the memory to speak to him directly. Y/n wanted nothing more than to live out this memory once more; to fly alongside her twin brother as she was meant to for the rest of their lives... but maybe some other time.

"Actually... can we talk?" 

From here, the memory drifts away from history, away from what actually happened. The vision subtly moves, shifting to Y/n's preferred reality. When she pulls from the memory, Neteyam's expression moves like it's obstructed by water before the vision clears, and suddenly Neteyam's memory is also speaking off script, confused but obliging her request.

"What is it?" When he asked her this, she realized she was now speaking to Eywa's image of Neteyam, and suddenly her eyes began to blur and a sob escaped her throat. Neteyam immediately grew concerned, his protective older brother's side showing once more as he stepped close to gathering his twin up in his arms. He brushed a few tears away and then proceeded to hug her close, speaking in soothing, small words, "Hey. Hey, Y/n... it's alright. Why are you crying?"

She continued to cry into her brother's shoulder, repeatedly wiping her face but it was pointless, the tears refusing to stop, "I miss you so much, 'Teyam!" She wailed, "There isn't a day that goes by when I don't-- when I don't think of you."

"What are you talking about?"

Y/n began to cry even harder, mad at Neteyam and mad at Eywa for making her say it out loud, "You're gone, tsmukan. You've been gone for... a few months now. And it still hurts. It hurts like it just happened yesterday. This isn't real. We are in Ranteng Utralti. The Spirit Tree of the Metkayina."

"Oh." Neteyam gently pulled away and held his sister out at arm's length, looking around, curious and confused, but strangely, he wasn't scared, "So this is it? I am one with Eywa?"

Y/n took a moment to properly wipe her tears and try to relax, muttering under her breath as she nodded, "Yes..."

"You came to visit me?"

"Yeah... it is my first time doing so." Immediately, Neteyam's eyes fall back on hers before she lowers her head in shame, unable to look him in the eye, "I'm sorry. I should have come sooner, but... I was scared. Dad and Lo'ak visit the most, but I... I couldn't face you."

"What... When was the last we saw each other... before...?"

She had to pause for a few short minutes to think about it, willing herself to remember that fateful day after spending so long just trying to forget it. Thinking hard enough for her head to hurt, it took her a while to forget yellow unblinking eyes, cold skin... and all of that blood that still haunts her nightmares. She tried to get past the fire, the Sky People, and the screams and cries clawing from her own lungs and those around her. Trying to picture her twin's face, alive and well, was harder than she thought, replaying the events that had led up to the battle actually happening.

"You... you separated from us to lure the Sky People away," she recalled, her bottom lip beginning to quiver again, "You went alone. That was the last time I saw you alive. I... I don't even remember the last thing I ever said to you."

"Ah. That's alright then."

Her head snapped up quickly, staring wide-eyed in disbelief at Neteyam while he only smiled softly. Her tone was accusatory as she bit out, "'That's alright'? No! No, that is not alright! You died, 'Teyam!"

He simply shrugged, "We all have to die someday, tsmuke. That is what we are told from the day we are able to understand it."

"But why is it alright that you got separated from us and died for it?!"

"Because I drove the Sky People away, right? I made sure my siblings were safe," Y/n was opening and closing her mouth to try and find a retort before Neteyam stepped closer again, reaching out and firmly grasping the back of her head to make her look him in the eyes, "It is my job to protect my brother and sisters and I take that job very seriously."

She felt her shoulders slouch as a breathy scoff escaped her lungs, "I can't believe you sometimes. You've always been so... accepting. That worried me sometimes. It worried me how you could always be so... resigned to everything."

He smirked, "I thought it was a healthy opposition to you, someone who could never just lie down and accept that things are just the way they are. You were always so stubborn, Y/n, determined and hopeful that things could always change for the better."

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from calling her twin a liar, glancing away to focus more on the sand of the beach, "I wish that were true about me."

"It's always been true."

"Not anymore. How--" She swallowed a sob before it could make a sound, eyes beginning to water once again as she peered up to stare into her brother's matching eyes, "How can I be hopeful for a better tomorrow if you're no longer there to see it? It will never be brighter, or better, because you're gone."

"I am gone..." he nods as if he hadn't just been informed of this mere moments ago, "But not fully. Look around you."

When she obediently did so, her eyes widened in wonder as the beach slowly melted away and turned the vision into a vast, heavy, and healthy forest. Their forest, was as vibrant and as beautiful as she remembered it. She can hear a pack of nantang calling off to one another in the distance while the sun tries to peek through the canopy, shining proudly down onto the twins. Leaves and shrubbery rustle to indicate life all around them while Neteyam only looks down at his sister. Y/n wasn't entirely sure, but she thought he looked different in this new light. Like he looked more... alive in the forest than he did on the beach. Her heart was saddened at the memory of 'Teyam telling her that he missed home, but now he can go home as much as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

It was like Y/n was now standing in Neteyam's own personal heaven instead of a memory she found within the Spirit Tree. 

Neteyam grasps both of her shoulders, "I am one with Eywa now. You can always find me here, whenever you need me. Remember, tsmuke, that I am at peace now. I may not remember what happened to me, but I hope it aches a little less for you to know that I don't remember the pain."

A tear slips past her detection, and even though it was minuscule at best, Y/n could feel a small part of her heart mend back together, comforted by her brother's words. She nods her head in reply and tries clearing her throat to speak, "Dad... he said you had last words for me. You wanted to tell me to 'find more.'"

Neteyam didn't have eyebrow hair like her, but the ridge where an eyebrow could've been lifted up in question, "Isn't that what I said when talking about Ao'nung the other night?"

Her eyes widen, replaying his words until the memory comes back to light. For the moment, she ignored the fact that Neteyam mentioned the memory so casually as if it had only happened a few days ago for him, whereas it had actually been months ago for her, "You remember that?"

"I do. You know me, sweet sister," he smiled, "As a warrior, it is vital for me to constantly visit the Spirit Tree so I can retain as much of my memory within Eywa. I don't take Grandmother's words lightly. You know this."

"I know..." Her shock slowly melts into a sad smile, "You were sometimes a little too serious."

As if making a point, Neteyam dropped the serious act in exchange for flashing a teasing grin at her, "So?"

"What?"

"Did you 'find more?'"

Her stomach flips and her mouth forms into a pout. It felt like acid on her tongue to begrudgingly admit to her brother that he was right, "... I did."

He grinned in triumph, "I told you so."

"Shut up."

"No need to sulk, Y/n," he laughed, "It is not your fault you were born dense."

"I am not dense! I just..." She doesn't have a proper rebuttal and sighs in defeat, "I miss this. I haven't had a talk like this in a while."

Neteyam hums mostly to himself, "You should talk more. People tend to realize that you are actually nice the more you talk."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't," he smiles triumphantly again when he gets her to laugh, then lets his expression form a more genuine, encouraging aura around them. He steps close to Y/n again and places a hand on the top of her head, "The sea gives and the sea takes. The sea gave you Ao'nung in exchange for me."

She wished he didn't make it sound like she willingly traded her brother for Ao'nung and shook her head defiantly, shaking his hand off of her, "It's not fair."

"I know. But it was Eywa's will, Y/n."

"I just... you should be here."

"I am here."

"No. Here here," she complained as the tears began to form yet again, "You should be completing your Iknimaya with me. You should be helping Tuk learn how to use a bow. You should be sitting quietly with Kiri whenever she gets overwhelmed. You... you should be having fun with Lo'ak and Spider like you did when the three of you were younger. We're already growing up without you and I feel so guilty to be moving on."

He shushes her softly and reaches out to brush her tears away, "Moving on does not mean you'll miss me any less. In time, you'll just learn how to balance out the pain with happiness instead. Never feel guilty or regret for me, Y/n. I could never blame you for finding the light in the darkest of places. I may not be right beside you, but I will always be with you, one way or another. And I won't be alone."

When her eyebrows briefly scrunch in confusion, he sheepishly smiles and thinks of all the possibilities, "I mean-- do you think I can finally meet Grandfather? I wonder if our mother's sister is here as well, and Brother Tsu'tey and Dr. Augustine. Who knows-- maybe Dad's twin brother might be with Eywa as well."

It's an encouraging thought, and it's a thought that makes Y/n smile ever so slightly again, "If... if you see any of them, let me know next time."

"I will try," he stares at her in silence for a moment, then looks as though he's decided on an important matter, "Promise me something."

"Sure."

"Don't visit often."

Her eyes widen again, shocked and almost appalled, dread filling her gut at the thought of leaving her twin all alone here, "What? Why?"

His expression is grim and serious, much like how he looked when she last saw him alive, taking the red pinger that was once stuck in Payakan and swimming away from the rest of them, "I do not think it would be healthy to speak with the dead constantly when you could be missing out on so much of your life. I want you all to live far longer than me, Y/n, and I would be happy knowing you were out there living your lives rather than constantly visiting me. If you must, visit me after important dates or ceremonies. Catch me up on our siblings' endeavors, when they finish their trials, who are they courting, how many children they have... and I hope to hear the same about you as well. Promise me, Y/n."

Her teeth grind together, hidden in her mouth as she thinks, already missing Neteyam even though she hadn't left yet. Now that she had finally gained the courage to talk to him again, it felt as though they were being separated all over again. The one and only time they, as twins, have been separated... and it was permanent. It hurt that he didn't want her to continuously return to see him, but Y/n knew her brother better than anyone. Neteyam was selfless, and he would rather be alone while his family moved on and lived out their full, long lives, waiting until they would finally join him with Eywa. Maybe, to Neteyam, it wouldn't feel like a long time. Maybe time wouldn't even pass for him... but it would for Y/n... and it was hard to even fathom a lifetime without her twin by her side.

Still, she had never known a time when she didn't want to make her brother happy in turn, "I promise."

A/N: Ao'nung and Y/n are the perfect definitions of "he fell first, she fell harder". This chapter was longer than all the other ones so I had to split it into two parts, so the next one will be out shortly! And then it will be onto the finale!

[lxvebun]

whisper of the heart

synopsis: genshin boys voicelines about you!

content: Kaeya/Ayato/Xiao/Heizou/Gorou/Arataki/Zhongli x gender neutral reader (so they/them pronouns used) Fluff! Mentions of kissing. Slightly possessive Ayato and Zhongli (but still healthy ofc) English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

dark blogs, k¡nk and ed blogs do not interact or lose all your 50/50s and I will also knock your teeth in<3

Kaeya

About y/n:

"Ah so you've met the lovely Y/n already. I'm not surprised they're quite hard to miss. Such a radiant smile and kind heart. I've had to fend off many people that were ready to throw themselves at them. Why? Well, because they are with me of course! What, you into them as well?"

About eyepatch:

"Y/n is one of the few people who have seen me without my eyepatch. Hm? How did they respond? Well, they didn't. I appreciate that. It makes it a lot more tolerable to walk around without my eyepatch knowing that what's beneath doesn't make a difference. What's beneath it? Wouldn't you like to know"

About vision:

"Did you know our visions are in tune with our emotions? There are plenty of fingertips and footprints scorched into the walls and floors of the dawn winery hehe. I sometimes unintentionally freeze parts of items I'm holding. Now that we're talking about it, it always happens when y/n enters my view...how strange"

Ayato

Possessive ayato? Possessive ayato

About y/n:

"Y/n? Did Thoma tell you about them? I'm not surprised. If Thoma is not around the estate you can be sure he's feeding the stray dogs and cats with Y/n. I wish I could join them but alas I'm needed elsewhere most of the time. If you'd like, I can ask y/n to go feed the dogs and cats with you sometime. But remember as lovely as they are, they are indeed my partner, so don't get any ideas"

About free time:

"As head of the kamisato clan, free time is not something I have an abundance of. Once I finished one pile of papers, Thoma is already handing me the next *sigh* It can be tiring but my dear y/n is able to make those long days a little easier. Just seeing them smile energizes me. I often request them to stay with me a little while longer when I finish some papers. I wouldn't know what to do without them"

About vision:

"Visions are indeed in tune with our emotions, though it's rarely visible to others since they're not quite spectacular. I have noticed I subconsciously start creating little water flowers on y/ns skin whenever we have some sort of physical contact. Many times when we are holding hands, they start building up along their arms. Im glad Y/n doesn't mind, they are quite pretty and I can't say I hate it when I see them walk around Inazuma adorned with my flowers.

Xiao

About y/n:

"Y/n? Yeah what's with them? Do I know them well? I do they are, ,,they are my partner. Don't look so surprised! I can't believe I'm deserving of them either."

Kiss him rn:(

About flowers

"Y/n and I often go flower picking through Liyues mountains. While I don't know where they get the energy to race from mountain top to mountain top, as long as it makes them happy, I'm happy. That said, the flower crowns they make are quite beautiful. Do I wear them? Of course."

About vision:

"I've learned to control most of the elemental energy originating from our visions but, as embarrassing as it is to say, i've lost control of them multiple times around Y/n. there have been multiple occasions of anemo whisps dancing around them or *sigh*, dashing into them when I desire physical contact. They think it's sweet but...nevermind, I suppose that makes it alright.

Heizou

About y/n:

"Ah yes Y/n! They are quite lovely don't you think? You know, the first time I met them something inside of me just knew they were my soulmate, and unsurprisingly I dreamed about them that night! Once I finally managed to talk to them we immediately felt the spark. We've been together ever since :)"

About cases:

"Although I'm good at solving cases, if I do say so myself, I do like requesting Y/n to help me. Of course, I’d never take them with me on dangerous cases, but the more ahem peculiar ones such as " a certain Oni has been seen walking around Hanamizaka challenging children to onikabuto duels' ' it's fun to bring them along. "

About visions:

"Ah yes, every user's vision is in tune with their emotions. Mine are a little more controllable than most users. Sometimes little puffs of air flow from my fingertips, Y/n enjoys it when I'm stroking my hand through their hair or giving them a gentle breeze on a hot day. Gotta be careful I don't accidentally make the flow too strong tho"

Gorou

About y/n

"Oh you have met Y/n? Well, what did you think of them? They’re sweet right! They told you about us? No no I don’t mind! I just didn’t expect them to be so open and excited to tell you. I know it's wagging Stop looking at my tail!"

About headpats:

"Though many try, I don't let anyone touch my ears, or my tail,,,except for y/n of course. Many times in the past, when I was younger, people always tugged on my tail or pinched my ears so I was really nervous when Y/n wanted to touch them. I'm glad I let them. They're always soft and delicate with any pets and it feels good to know they like me for me and everything that I am. They also know the exact right places to scratch!"

About visions:

Shirou is the lil dog with gorous skill btw

"Lets not talk about that. There have been an embarrassing amount of times where I had to hold back shirou  from pressing a plethora of kisses to y/n's face. He only does that when I'm holding back on affection. Not because I don't like it! more so because I get nervous, but now it's either breaking through that nervousness or getting a leash for shirou.."

Arataki Itto

About y/n:

"Haha I see you’ve met my number one! They’re great, they are always up for onikabuto fights, they get along great with granny even the gang adores them? Jealous? Why would I be jealous? The gang, no no they wouldn't try anything, I mean yeah y/n is great and sweet, kind, admirable, strong…..perhaps I should have a meeting with the gang, just to be sure ya know"

About being an oni:

"Hey hey hey what do ya think about my horns! check it out freshly painted by the lovely y/n haha!! Yeah, y/n always paints my horns! Sometimes I just let them decide what color they're going to be, even walked around with pastel pink ones for a while. Im glad that they're so comfortable with me being an oni. the differences in size, strength and well the horns of course can scare quite a few people off or archons forbid make them start throwing beans AGH. Not my dear y’n though! even if I accidentally poke them with my horns sometimes, they still press a kiss to them each moring:))"

About visions

"Sometimes, I think Ushi likes y/n more than me. I know right! They’re always cuddling together which I mean they should be doing with me but anyways, or Ushi is sitting on their lap which is also my place....... but I like that they get along so well. Ushi has been my rock for a long time so it's nice to see them together.

Zhongli

I couldnt think of a vision one :(

About y/n:

"Oh you want to know more about y/n and me? Of course, i’d love to tell you about our story. My dear love y'n and I go a long long way back. Come sit down I will brew you some tea as I tell you about them"

About Morax:

"Though I have walked around in this form for a while now, some old habits are quite hard to shed, more specifically the hoarding and protecting of treasure. But I also think it’s a normal response to want to protect whats yours no? As you can see our home is decorated with little shiny trinkets that I found during my many years in Teyvat. Here! this a very special crystal I found a millenia ago, Dug it out of the ground myself. Of course you can touch it. The protectiveness? Oh that only happens when y/n is around"

Dragon!zhongli? Kiss me.

Thank you for reading bunnies!<3 I hope you liked it!

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I am so happy you're back and seem to be doing even a little bit better! We missed you!

I wanted to send a little message, so you can ignore it if it sours your mood or you don't feel like dealing with it, feel no pressure at all! It's just this blog has been a safe space and the community has been so welcoming that I figured I could vent really quick

You know when sometimes the brain just has a really shitty day, like when you draw something and it screams at you that it's trash even though there's nothing wrong with it? I've been having a rough time with it deciding to scream that comfort characters would cheat, probably as an 'You are so unlovable not even fictional characters would be loyal' bullshit. Now, logically, I know this makes -67 sense. But, I was wondering if you could just reassure that like, Sanji, Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Blablablablabla long list of One Piece characters you write for, would not cheat? I'm sorry, this sounds lame to even write out but I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking that asking for help is 'pathetic' because it is not and it only applies that logic to me, never to anyone else.

I dunno man. Brains and bring human ate both though af.

I missed all of you as well. Really and sincerely. I have a tendency to go radio silent when I'm going through a difficult time and I hate it immensely, but hearing that I was missed to makes me all

And yes, oh gods, I know. My brain is frequently my worst enemy. Especially when I'm not writing. My anxiety starts working overtime and my creative drive becomes dedicated to coming up with problems that could potentially happen for me to worry about even more and it's an absolute bitch; or even when I am actively creating and a little voice insists that everything I make is stupid garbage.

This is still very much and always will be a safe space. It definitely is awful to feel that unworthy of love. Full disclosure, I've mentioned in passing before that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type. My main issue is auditory hallucinations that like to insist that everyone I love and care about only tolerate me out of pity and secretly would rather I not be around, which leads to me isolating myself from people. Huge part of the reason I go silent when life decides to be a bitch. I know it's just as bad feeling that way about comfort characters, if not even worse, when we're supposed to have them to help us get through that kind of bullshit.

So let me provide a little drabble for the one comfort character I’m certain wouldn’t ever allow us to continue being so silly about our worthiness of love and affection, because we’re all worthy of such a basic human need. I may do more later, but one in particular jumped at the opportunity to provide this comfort, and I fear he may counter me with his dreaded puppy-dog-eyes should I even dare attempt to wait.

Good Enough

OPLA!Sanji x AFAB!Reader

Lil drabble thingy

SFW, Hurt/Comfort

Possible TRIGGER WARNINGS for depression, insecurity, self-worth

♫♬ Moonshine ♬♫ — The Fratellis (yes I’m STILL on my Fratellis BS leave me be)

"Never knowing is the most evil feeling, when every answer here is none too appealing"

Sanji had always been a flirt. You knew that from the moment you started working on the wait staff at Baratie. Your trust issues had made it a little difficult for you to open up around the young sous chef (and occasional waiter on the frequent occasion that Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen for insubordination), but it was his outgoing nature and perseverance that had ultimately won you over. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world when you were together, doting upon you, all but worshipping the ground you walked on.

But when he was sent out to work the dining area, it always made you nervous. His innate charm, his handsome features—he was nearly always a hit with female customers. No matter how much you told yourself that he was only doing his job, there was always a nagging feeling that maybe there was more to it than that. Watching him interact with a table of pretty young women, who by their clothing and demeanor were obviously far more affluent and sophisticated than you, left you distracted in your own work.

Seeing how they giggled at everything he said, how they fluttered their eyelashes when he brought them their drinks.

How the pretty blonde at the table leaned so close to him while he pointed to something on the menu, close enough to brush her hand across his.

You managed to spill a tray of drinks all over yourself while you were watching, leading to a scolding from the front of house manager. You saw the table of girls from the corner of your eye, giggling at your clumsiness before you were sent off to clean yourself up and change your uniform.

No matter how much you told yourself you were being silly, there was nothing you could do to shake it. The doubts, the thoughts of how easily he could find someone better than you. You had your jaw clenched the entire time you were changing your shirt in the staff restroom, tossing the soiled one aside as you leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and forced yourself to take slow, level breaths.

You were still on the clock. You couldn’t break down. You had to get changed, had to get back to work, had to pretend everything was fine, if he found out you were being so stupid about this then he would definitely drop you like a bad habit, you had to compose yourself or—

Knock knock.

Your eyes darted to the bathroom door, your breath catching in your throat at the sound of the light knock.

“J—just a minute,” you forced out, flinching at the sound of your own voice breaking a little.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, stop it stop it stop it—

A brief silence followed your answer, a silence that seemed to stretch on for miles despite lasting only a few seconds. The familiar, gentle voice that answered after a moment made your hands clench around the porcelain of the sink.

“You alright, love?” You drew in a sharp breath, swallowing, clenching your eyes shut. Of course it was Sanji. You had almost hoped that the manager had come scold you for taking too long. That would have been easier to deal with right now. Your eyes darted to the locked doorknob as it rattled a little. “I heard—”

“I’m fine,” you said immediately, the strained quality of your own words as they met your ears making your hands tighten a little more on the edge of the sink. “I—I just tripped and spilled a few drinks, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” You gritted your teeth, laying your head back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn’t let it go that easily. The doorknob rattled a little again, and you glanced at it as if it were a viper poised to strike out at you at any second.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, don’t—

“You sound—”

You reached out and turned the lock on the doorknob, and turned away from the door, crossing your arms over your half-buttoned shirt and stared down at your feet. After a long moment, you heard the door open behind you.

Evidently you didn’t look any less distressed than you felt. His quiet sigh met your ear as the door shut lightly and the lock turned. “Oh, love, it’s fine,” he said gently, his footfalls echoing quietly in the small bathroom, closing the short distance across the tile floor between the two of you. Your whole body tensed as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his forehead over the crown of your hair with a quiet chuckle. “It’s only a few drinks, it could happen to anyone.”

You shook your head, your shoulders shaking a little. Stupid, it was so stupid, but the words were already leaving your mouth before you could stop them. “Oh, yeah, anyone.” You couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. He had a way of pulling all your insecurities to the surface that no one else did. You pulled your crossed arms tighter, staring down at the white floor tiles for a moment before shutting your eyes tightly, your voice shaking a little. “Especially a dumb screw-up like me—”

“Don’t do that.” His tone came out a little sharper with this, and your breath hitched audibly in your throat this time, your shoulders hunching as you clenched your eyes shut tighter, swallowing back the lump in your throat. As if to counter your stiff posture, he pulled his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer, his thumb rubbing lightly against your waist in a comforting manner. “Don’t, sweetheart. Please.”

The warmth of his embrace already had you relaxing a little. Your shoulders slumped, your body leaning back against him, but your eyes were still burning when you opened them to stare down at the toes of your shoes.

“Was it the manager?” he asked gently, shifting behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder. “If he was being an ass I’ll gladly kick his ass off the docks.” Your breath left your lungs in a slow, trembling sigh as you shook your head no, your gaze drifting down to his hand at your hip, still rubbing lightly against you, your lips curling into a fleeting smile at his offer. You knew you were being stupid, but… “Then what’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice a soft, comforting murmur in your ear.

“I…” You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes as he tilted his head so his cheek lay against your shoulder. “Y—you—“

You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat, drawing in a deep breath, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, thoughts of how maybe this was all a lie, of how you weren’t anything more than a silly little fling to him, how you weren’t good enough, how easily you could be replaced.

You bit your lip, glancing down as his hand found yours, watching his fingers lace between your own…and the breath left you in a slow, resigned sigh.

“It’s stupid,” you said quietly.

“If it’s got you this upset, then it’s anything but stupid,” he countered, and you had to purse your lips tightly to keep them from curving into a small smile as you felt his press briefly against your cheek in a soft kiss. “And if it’s something I’ve done—”

“N—no, you haven’t—” But how quickly you shook your head, how your shoulders tensed, betrayed your worries. “I…I just…” You slowly relaxed once more as he squeezed you against him, his cheek nuzzling against your shoulder, his soft blonde hair tickling against your neck. Still unable to turn your head to meet his eyes, you bit the bullet and forced yourself to voice your worries. “You have beautiful women making goo-goo eyes at you all day,” you said, keeping your voice low in an attempt to keep it steady. “I—I don’t—I’m not—” You bit your lip, your heart racing as you clenched your eyes shut, cursing yourself internally as you felt the tickle of a tear leaving your eye to trail down one of your cheeks. “Y-you could have any girl you wanted. L—like that blonde that was hanging all over you while you were showing her the menu, or—or—”

“Oh, sweetheart…” You weren’t quite able to mask the small sob that hitched in your chest as Sanji loosened his embrace—only to gently place a hand on your hip, guiding you to turn around and face him, to pull you against his chest as you tried and failed to fight back tears. He gently shushed your quiet sobs and stammered apologies as he wrapped his arms around you fully, combing his fingers through your hair as he laid his head over yours. Your eyes remained clenched shut as you fought to control your breathing , as he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead.

Sanji lowered his head and nuzzled into your hair, holding you flush against him.

“I already have the girl I want. The perfect girl.” He pressed another tender kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin, “I have her right here in my arms. And I hope,” he said, his tone turning a little playful as he shifted to rest his forehead against yours, “that I’ll still have her tonight after dinner shift is over.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, smiling as he tilted his head to meet your gaze, puling a small smile to your lips as your cheeks grew a little warmer. “So we can cuddle up together on the balcony…watch the stars…laugh at all the drunk idiots stumbling back to their boats…”

You could practically hear him smiling as a few soft giggles escaped you, as you finally leaned fully against him and returned his embrace, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, relaxing against him. “I…I’m just…”

“I know, love.” The way he called you ‘love’ all but melted your heart now that you were calmed down, pulling a faint smile to your lips. “I know. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if it’s any consolation, I was in the middle of telling that self-righteous blonde bimbo how my sweet, adorable, beautiful girlfriend would wring her neck if she kept putting her hands on me���“ He chuckled as you whined in protest of his praise, tugging you closer and grinning, meeting your eyes without hesitation.

He lifted his hand to your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek, the warmth of his gaze holding yours.

“I—“

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

You both jolted in alarm, your heads turning in unison toward the sound of the pounding on the bathroom door. Before you could so much as glance at each other, a gruff voice spoke up from behind the door.

“We’re in the weeds, Eggplant!” Zeff called . “Get your scrawny ass to the kitchen! And bring your damned girlfriend, we need all the help we can get.”

A long moment of silence stretched between the two of you as you both stared at the closed bathroom door, before your gazes drifted slowly toward each other.

Before you were both giggling under your breath, as you buried your forehead against his chest, a broad smile spreading across your lips as you clung to him.

“I suppose we’ve been summoned,” said Sanji, pulling back from you only enough to gaze down at you, still smiling. “Shall we, then?”

[maliciouslove]

𝔼𝕏𝕋ℝ𝔸ℂ𝕌ℝℝ𝕀ℂ𝕌𝕃𝔸ℝ 𝔸ℂ𝕋𝕀𝕍𝕀𝕋𝕀𝔼𝕊

NSFW—college AU, aged up characters (21+) || minors, ageless and/or empty blogs DO NOT INTERACT!

pairing // itadori yuuji x professor!reader 

summary // you’re having a particularly rough week and your student yuuji’s childish and nonchalant behaviour towards his failing grades and missing assignments is simply the last straw, forcing you to snap and teach the brat a lesson. for some extra credit, of course. :)

word count // 5.1k

tags // power imbalance, mean dom!reader, sub!yuuji, dubcon (tagging non-con just in case), forced masturbation (m!receiving), blackmail, recorded masturbation (m!receiving), cockwarming a dildo (m!receiving), little to no preparation penetration (m!receiving) sexual favours for extra credit, oral (f!receiving), dacryphilia, slight degradation, humiliation, praise, use of the title ‘professor’,  hair pulling, spit as lube, cum play, unprotected sex, creampie

AN // and the reposting continues! reading this again reminded me that i love writing submissive men. a very long time ago @/cyancherub beta read this for me, and I am still eternally grateful :) <3

You’ve been having a very shit week so far—your car broke down on Monday and the guys at the repair shop told you it’s going to be at least three days before it’s fixed, and the price they charged for their services also didn’t help with your mood. 

Furthermore, on Tuesday you found out your health insurance claim didn’t go through, adding yet another expense that you have to worry about. Your poor wallet can’t handle all the damage it’s taking. 

You would think you could’ve gotten some peace and quiet when you got home on Wednesday, but no—you walked into your apartment only to find your new couch and all the pillows completely destroyed by your dog. Pillow filling and pieces of cloth scattered all across the living room as your dog was now laying in his bed, looking up at you innocently, as if he didn’t just destroy an extremely expensive couch. 

Thursday was no breeze either, as you started your day by spilling a venti sized caramel macchiato all over your white dress shirt. Walking into your meeting with the dean of the school covered in coffee was embarrassing enough, but when he started chewing you out for the low grade point average in your class, you were just about ready to cry. 

But you clenched your fists and bit your tongue, refusing to show weakness to anyone. It was just a bad week, it too would pass. 

There is only one day of the week left, and after that, you can indulge yourself over the weekend and take time to relax and de-stress. Only Friday left… but boy, you’re not looking forward to this Friday. Why?

Because you have to teach a class with him—Itadori Yuuji, your most annoying student. Yuuji is by no means unintelligent or incapable, no—but he is, however, an asshole. A petulant child that firmly believes he can get away with anything simply because he is handsome and charming. He is the type of guy to enter the classroom 20 minutes late and simply smile and wink at you; no apology, no explanation. Just a cocky 24-karat smile. He talks loud, voices all of his opinions, and doesn’t really care about anyone or anything. 

Now apparently he has decided to stop handing in his assignments, which in turn creates another problem for you. You could, of course, choose to ignore him and simply let him flunk, but that would mean two things: first, he would have to repeat the class, meaning you would have to see more of him, and second, it would give the dean one more reason to be angry with you and punish you for “bringing down the grade average of the entire institution”. 

So this Friday you’re planning on pulling him aside after class and having a serious discussion with him about his grades and work ethic. You have been lenient enough with him over the past few months, choosing to ignore his attitude and simply focus your attention on the students who actually wanted to be there, but that has to come to an end. What you’re less willing to admit to yourself, is that you’re very anxious about the conversation you’ll have with him. What will you say? What if he mocks you? What if he keeps that irritating everything-is-a-joke attitude? But the scariest thought of all: What if I finally snap? Maybe I should teach that little brat a lesson. 

So here you are, laying in your bed awake way past your bedtime, anxiously pondering over the events that might unfold tomorrow. It’s going to be a long day. 

2:37 PM

The days are surely growing shorter and colder. Grey clouds are hanging heavy over your head, ready to rain down on you any moment now. There are 23 minutes left until class begins, so you grab a quick cup of coffee to go and you head on over to the classroom, mulling over what to say to Yuuji, practising different scenarios in your head. For some reason, the majority of these scenarios end up with Yuuji tied up and sobbing, spanked raw and begging for forgiveness. You shake your head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. Trying to shake away the urge to break the strawberry-haired man. He would look so cute crying though. 

By the time class starts at 3:00 PM you’re halfway through your coffee, slightly starting to regret having more than two cups that day because it’s making you antsy. You take a final sip and greet your students, making a mental note of the fact that for once Yuuji is on time. The lesson goes smoothly, but you can’t help noticing that Yuuji never seems to be paying attention; never really even looking towards the big screen behind you where important slides containing assignment details were shown. Almost like he’s avoiding looking at you. 

Finally, class is over, the room filling with the sounds of chairs being pulled and students chatting amongst each other. You call Yuuji over, secretly glad that none of the other students are paying attention and simply rolling out of the classroom one by one. Itadori slings his backpack over his shoulder and saunters over to your desk, hands in his pockets, a certain pep in his step. 

“Whaddup, Y/N?” he grins, not a care in the world.

“It’s miss L/N to you. And I need to speak with you about your last assignment, the one you never handed in.” You don’t even look up from the pile of papers on your desk that you were busying yourself with in an attempt to remain composed. 

“Oh yeaaah, there was an assignment, wasn’t there? Oops.” His stupid smile never falters. The irritation is bubbling in your chest and it tastes bitter in your mouth; the papers in your hands crinkle under the force of your fingers. 

“Yup, there was, and it was worth 40% of your final grade. That means you are facing the possibility of failing this class, Mr. Itadori.” Your voice is cold and calculated, all traces of irritation erased—you’re all business. You are his teacher, you need to keep things professional, no room for emotions, especially emotions that will not improve the situation in any way, such as anger. 

You finally look up at the strawberry-haired boy, only to find him staring, but not at you. His brown eyes were fixated on the collar of your tight shirt, the top two buttons undone, showing off your soft skin and collarbones. The shirt itself doesn’t reveal a lot, but it’s tight, the outline of your bra quite visible up close. He swallows and looks away quickly, but not fast enough for you to not notice his quite obvious interest. 

“I’m sorry Mr. Itadori, are my breasts more interesting to you right now?” You arch an eyebrow, the irritation that was growing inside of you finally reaching your voice too. The audacity this brat has.  

“I- no... I- m’sorry” he stutters. Yuuji Itadori, Mr. Charming and Almighty, was flustered. How interesting. The scenarios your mind conjured earlier are suddenly flooding your brain again and you can’t help but wonder… could you make him even more flustered? 

“Listen here Yuuji, this is basically sexual harassment, you know. I’m trying to help you here, have a serious conversation about your situation, yet all you can do is stare at my tits. Now, what do you think I should do about this, hm?” 

He opens his mouth in an attempt to say something, to argue, to come up with some witty comeback—yet no sound comes out. After a long, uncomfortable pause he finally mumbles a barely audible m’sorry, fixating his gaze on the floor. Some sick, twisted part of you finds this adorable. The corners of your lips curve upwards just barely. 

“What exactly are you sorry for, Yuuji?” There is a teasing lilt to your voice, the use of his first name completely throwing him off guard. He looks at you with big eyes, once again unable to form a response.

“For, uh- … for always staring at you inappropriately.. a-and fantasizing.” He gulps loudly, mouth suddenly feeling all too dry. His little confession is a surprise to you, but you don’t let it show. You maintain a neutral face, studying him closely. You can see him get even more nervous under your gaze. 

“Always?” you pause, eyebrow raised quizzically. “Fantasizing?” tilting your head slightly to the side, your eyes never leave his. Your presence only grows, asserting its dominance over his. The boy that usually towers over you and always has a carefree, happy-go-lucky attitude, suddenly looks very small to you. A blush is creeping up his neck and cheeks, proof that he really is feeling flustered. 

“Huh.. so you fantasize about your teacher?” you smirk, several sinister ideas flooding your brain as you look at the boy in front of you shrink even more. “You can get in a lot of trouble for this… Mr. Itadori.” Gracefully you get out of your chair, moving to sit at the end of your desk, shortening the distance between you and your student. “If word got out, administration would have to remove you from my class—you would lose all credits you’ve obtained thus far in my class and you would have to pick a different course in order to obtain those credits again.” Your eyes travel up his body, slowly, undressing him in your mind. “That would be a lot of work, Mr. Itadori. Don’t you think?”

Not trusting his ability to speak right now, he simply nods. There is apprehension in his eyes, but also curiosity.  

“Perhaps we can work this out? Resolve our… conflict, as to avoid getting administration involved.” 

You hear the gears turning in his head, mulling over all the possibilities, mind racing and his heart pounding loudly in his chest. “Resolve… how?” 

You can barely contain yourself at how small his voice is, how unsure. The boy that usually gleamed with confidence and strides down the corridors as if he owns them is suddenly unable to look you straight in the eye. 

“Well, Mr. Itadori, I am a teacher after all. I think it would be best if I teach you a lesson about how it feels to be objectified. To be seen as nothing more than a pretty face, or hot body.” Your hand darts forward, now toying with the hem of his shirt. Yuuji is holding his breath as if the tiniest movement could drive you away. “Relax, Mr. Itadori, it’s just a lesson. You will benefit from it. Just do as I tell you and this little incident will be forgotten.” You pull him in by the collar of his t-shirt, his face now inches away from yours. A coy smile plays on your lips as you practically feast over the expression painted on his face at this moment. Surprise, desire and fear mixed all together, making his coffee-coloured eyes water slightly. But a breathy okay leaves his lips, eyes transfixed on yours as you push him backwards to sit in a chair. 

“Clothes off. Don’t talk unless I ask you a question. Understand?” 

Yuuji mutters a quick “yes,” fingers already hooking under his sweats, pulling them down as you lock the door to your classroom and make sure there is no way to peek inside the room. Lucky for you, most classes also end early on Friday, so the building is surely almost completely empty by now. 

Yuuji’s heart rate picks up with each clank of your heels against the wooden parquet as you head on over back to the desk, once again sitting on its edge, arms crossed over your chest. Here he is, strawberry hair dishevelled, chest exposed and if you look closely enough, you can see the vibrations on his skin as his heart hammers wildly against his ribcage. All he has left on were his over-the-calf white Nike socks and his banana print boxers. The outline of his dick making your mouth water, already semi-hard even though nothing has really happened so far. 

“Show me what you do when you fantasize about me. Tell me what you think about. I want to know how exactly you objectify me… how often.” Your voice is quiet but commanding, distant yet curious. It takes him a moment to gather the courage to go through with what you ask of him, but he finally palms himself over his boxers, not daring to look at you, but opening his mouth to speak. 

“I- I often imagine what you look like under your clothes. What kind of l-lingerie you wear...” his voice falters at the end, the blush creeping up his face betraying him. But quite visibly, blood isn’t rushing only to his face. His eyes are shut and eyebrows pinched together, but he keeps on talking, just like you asked him to. “I think about you masturbating… Like I do almost every night. I-I think about eating you out and I imagine how you taste, what you look like.” He is gripping his now fully erect cock under the cloth of his boxers, and the whole view is just so delicious. His little confessions go straight to your clit, desire taking you over. You take your phone out and quickly open your camera, switching to video and turning it on.

“Go on, don’t hold back.” 

He keeps his eyes shut, but his hand movements get braver. In an instant, his big calloused hand dives under his boxers to pull out his heavy cock, the elastic band of his underwear resting under his balls. He’s already leaking, a pearly bead of precum sliding down his shaft, right next to a big juicy vein. You zoom in with your camera, making sure to catch all the details. 

“I imagine how tight you’d feel when you cream around my cock.” At these words he squeezes his length harder, a tiny whimper escaping his lips and it makes your heart twist and your insides burn. You just know the stretch of his cock will be delicious. You know he’d feel so good. The thought alone has you clenching around nothing and you slide a hand under your skirt, fingers pressing over your clit as a shudder travels your spine. 

“Yeah? You wanna do all those things to me, Mr. Itadori? You want to see me naked, taste me, feel me? Tell me how much you want it.” You’re focusing the camera on his face now, capturing his face contorting in pleasure and need. Hand stroking his dick faster now, smearing the pre all across his length. He doesn’t really need to say how much he wants that as it becomes evident from the vigour in his strokes, but you want to hear him anyway. “Tell me, use your words, baby boy.” The nickname sets him off, all the moans he’d been staving off finally surfacing. 

“S’much… it’s all I can think about. Every time I come to class my mind… w-wanders, mmgh.” His chest is heaving, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he fucks his fist wishing it was you, eyes still tightly shut. “Even now… I really am imagining that you’re jacking me off… it’s so fucking h-hot.” 

It would be a lie to say that your hands weren’t itching to touch him, to make him writhe and squirm and beg. But that would have to wait. Right now, you just want to see him cum. 

“Mmm, and how do these little daydreams of yours end, hm? Wanna show me?” It takes Yuuji only a few more strokes before his orgasm washes over him, abdomen muscles tightening, hot thick cum spurting over his chest and tummy, some even landing on his chin. His breathing is erratic and his heart feels like it's trying to break a hole through his ribcage. Finally, he cracks an eye open, gaze immediately landing on the phone in your hands. 

Stopping the video and tossing the phone aside, you stride over to him and card your fingers through his hair, slightly pulling his head back to look him in the eyes. Amongst all the emotions he’s feeling, fear is the most prominent right now. His eyes are watering again, and you quiver at the sight. 

“Call it an eye for an eye. One video for me to keep in exchange for all the times you’ve stared at me, imagining how good I would actually feel. If you behave, the video stays in my possession only. So be good f’me Yuuji, yea? Can you do that?” 

He nods his head quickly, too quickly for his own liking, but he dares not to disobey. His submission pleases you so you ease your grip on his hair, deft fingers sliding down the side of his face and tracing his sharp jawline. 

"You know Mr. Itadori, we’re not quite done here yet. I still need to discuss the possibility of you failing my class. I was thinking of assigning you some extra credit work to make up for the assignment you didn’t hand in… if you’d like to stay in my class-" 

He cuts you off. “P-Please… I want to do the extra credit work. Please, I-I’ll do good, I’ll make up for my bad grades, ‘promise.” The puppy eyes he gives will simply be the death of you. You smile and rub soft circles with your thumb on his cheek. 

Straightening up,  you walk away from him heading towards your desk, fingers running through the wooden surface and landing on your briefcase. "I really, really dislike brats, you know. And I absolutely will not tolerate more mistakes like this from you, Mr. Itadori. No more attitude. No more slacking off."

There’s an edge to your voice, a coldness emanating from it, and it sends shivers down his spine. Unconsciously he swallows, tongue darting out to swipe at his bottom lip. Even for him, it’s hard to tell if he’s scared or aroused. Or maybe both. But what he is sure of is that you’re commanding all of his attention right now. He would do anything for your approval.

“To ensure you actually complete the assignment and don’t flunk out of my class, I will be monitoring your work. And you will do it right here, where I can see you.” The briefcase is now open, your hands rummaging in it, fingers wrapping around the object you’re looking for. “You’re going to use some tools to further… motivate you.” Your grin is wicked as you pull out a pink silicone dildo from your briefcase. Smiling at your student, your tongue presses itself flat against the dildo, licking a slow stripe from shaft to tip.

"You said you’ll be good, right? Promised you’ll do the extra credit… Still feeling up for the task?" You're now walking back to him and his eyes grow wider with fear. He's never done this before. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat as you sit down on his lap but to no avail. His mind is going completely blank, but his dick is acting on its own accord, becoming hard again pressed up against your ass.

“I want to do the extra credit, professor. Please?” The words are almost a whisper, the sound of his heart drowning out the sound. You chuckle and present the dildo to his lips in a silent command which he obeys, wrapping his lips around the tip of the dildo. 

"Ah, so you can obey orders, well that's a relief. Because I have a tall order coming for you." You shove the dildo all the way down his throat, tears immediately pooling in his eyes, the only noise coming from him being muffled moans and gagging. "So listen up, brat—you're going to take this dildo like a big boy and cockwarm it for me as you write your assignment right here, right now. Where I can see you." 

He can’t verbally give you an answer with the dildo shoved down his throat, so he nods, trying to hold off his gag-reflex, a single tear rolling down his cheek. 

You don’t even think about it as you lean closer, tongue darting out to collect the stray tear, the salty taste of it making you hum in delight. You remove the dildo from his mouth, a clear string of saliva connecting his lips and the pink tip of the dildo, which you simply hand to him. It’s his extra credit work after all, he should do all the work himself if he wants a good grade. 

This time you drag your chair from behind your desk and position it across Yuuji’s, giving you a perfect view of the show he’s about to put on for you. With shaky hands he positions the dildo on the chair, making sure the suction cup at the bottom is well attached. You could see him think through every move he makes, taking his laptop out, positioning everything so that he could attempt to write while he cockwarms the dildo. 

The strawberry-colour haired man takes a final unsure look at you as if seeking confirmation, but even he can’t deny the excitement he feels deep down. The primal need to please you, show you he can be a good boy too, for you and you only. Lifting one leg over his desk, he gives you a perfect view of his round ass, puckered hole already clenching in anticipation. Two of his long fingers push past his lips, tongue sloppily covering them in saliva that he plans on using as lube. Those same fingers, now covered in a layer of spit, rub soft circles over his puckered hole, lightly teasing and prodding while he gets used to the sensation. 

One finger finally pushes past his ring muscle, a wanton moan escaping his pretty lips. The sound is heavenly and you just want to hear more. To see more. Slightly parting your legs, you let your right hand travel up your thigh and toy with the hem of your lacy panties, enjoying Yuuji’s reaction. The little display you’re making for him is really fuelling him further. Not even a minute later, he’s sinking a second finger in his greedy hole, sounding more and more desperate, each moan and whimper a treasure for you. 

Spitting on the dildo again, this time nasty and unabashed, mind hazy from lust, Yuuji finally positions himself over the pink dildo, the tip resting right over his hole. One more glance in your direction and he sinks down an inch, the tip pushing past his muscle, the stretch immediately filling his eyes with more tears. But he ignores the weird feeling, ignores the pain, and simply focuses on the pleasure. The more he sinks down on the dildo, the more you toy with your pussy, panties now pushed aside to give him a better view. Fingers sliding up and down the slit, collecting your essence and smearing it all over, gentle circles with your middle finger over your clit. 

Halfway down the dildo, Yuuji opts to slide back up, and then down again, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, mouth hanging open in pleasure. He was not expecting it to feel this good, the fullness making him slightly dizzy. One hand gently strokes over his sensitive cock, the feeling making him shiver. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” In response to his puzzled look you simply nod over to his laptop, reminding him that he is supposed to be writing an assignment. “Just write an essay on any topic that we’ve covered in class… or did you not retain anything from our classes because you were too busy being a pervert?” At these words, you slide two fingers inside you, knuckles deep, pumping them in and out slowly. 

After staring dumbfoundedly for a few seconds, his shaky fingers pull the laptop closer and he begins to type. It’s adorable to watch him struggle to remain concentrated on the task at hand, with the dildo filling him up perfectly and with the sounds you’re making as you fuck yourself on your fingers… poor Yuuji can barely keep it together. Even though he’s sunk all the way down on the dildo and knows he’s supposed to stay still, he can’t help the little thrusts of his hips against the silicone cock. 

Around 10 minutes has passed since Yuuji started his attempt at writing an essay, but it’s becoming more and more difficult for him to focus, not with the tip of the dildo pressing up against his prostate, making his thighs quiver and his breath hitch. He needs relief; he can’t write like this. And you know this all too well, your own desire taking over you completely, temporarily forgetting how you got in this situation in the first place. Screw it.

“P-please, professor.. I need..” 

Before he can finish his sentence you’re already on his lap, lips pressed to his in a heated, sloppy kiss. You can’t hold it in anymore; you want to feel him. His lips feel soft against yours, but his tongue feels sinister as it dances against yours. Moving his laptop to the side, you sit on top of the desk and spread your legs for Yuuji, pussy glistening with your slick and on full display for the boy. 

“An orgasm or two might put you in my good graces?” you suggest and spread your pussy lips with two fingers, watching as Yuuji practically drools over the sight. He doesn’t need to be asked twice, still impaled on the dildo he bends forward, tongue darting out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit. The taste of you drives him feral, lips latching onto your clit and sucking hard, mouth hard at work to coax more moans out of you. To taste more of you. To him, you’re truly intoxicating. As his tongue works feverishly against your folds, constant praise falls from your lips. That’s my good boy, fuck yes, right t-there. 

“Move your hips, ride that cock baby boy.” You’re so close to your own release, it’s suffocating you. A few more flicks of his tongue over your sensitive bud and you’re coming undone under him, legs shaking violently as your mind floods with overwhelming pleasure and your pussy flutters. Yuuji’s greedy mouth is ready to swallow all your slick, hungrily lapping at your cunt, the obscene squelch of his tongue against your wetness filling the room. 

Pushing him away just enough to sit back in his lap, your hands wrap around his length, pumping it languidly. His hips slow down but he doesn’t dare stop moving up and down the dildo, he doesn’t dare disobey you. Catching his lips in another kiss you guide his cock to your slit, rubbing it up and down, collecting all your arousal. Slowly you sink down on his cock, eyes rolling back at the feeling of his fat meaty cock stretching you out, your tight hole hugging him perfectly. 

And Yuuji could cum from this alone, from finally feeling your warmth and wetness around him, squeezing him for all he’s worth. You feel so much better than he could ever imagine. With you hovering over his lap enough to give him space to bounce up and down, impaling himself on the silicone cock, and simultaneously drilling upwards into your welcoming heat. The feeling is so overwhelming; his movements are sloppy, and he’s constantly babbling incoherent words, hands gripping your waist tight enough to bruise. And as you look down at him all you can think about is how gorgeous he looks all fucked out.

Your hand snakes down your body, middle finger expertly rubbing tight circles over your clit, pussy immediately clamping down even harder on his dick. A second orgasm was approaching and Yuuji can feel that, the way your walls flutter around him, how much louder you’re getting. All he has to do is hold off his orgasm for a while more. He angles his hips and pistons up into your cavern, the tip of his leaky cock ramming against your cervix in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Right there is all you can repeat, teetering on the edge of your second orgasm, a few good strokes being the last push you need before you stumble over and drown in the pleasure once more. Yuuji follows right after, sinking all the way down on the dildo and pushing you down his length to completely bottom out inside you as he empties his balls, thick cum spurting right against your cervix. You can feel how full of cum you are, the thick sticky substance dribbling down your thigh. 

After a few moments of silence, the two of you just staying close and trying to catch your breath, you finally speak. 

“You know, you will actually have to write at least one essay for me for that extra credit, consider this just your… motivation to actually get it done. At the end of the day, I’d rather you not fail, Yuuji.” 

You did it again, you used his first name. The softness to your voice makes his heart twist, and he knows he has to live up to the promise he made. 

“And this stays between us.” 

You didn’t really need to tell him that, he knows how badly things could turn out if anyone found out, but he gives you his word. He doesn’t dare say anything else out of fear that anything he says might ruin the magic. One wrong move could sully this moment forever, and this is a memory he’ll cherish for a long time. So he tucks his flaccid cock in his boxers and puts on his clothes, gathering his things and heading for the door. He pauses for a second and turns around for one last look. 

“Miss L/N.. uhm, thank you for giving me an opportunity for that extra credit. And uh, I don’t mean the sex. The actual extra credit. I know I can be difficult, so I appreciate this a lot.” 

You smile and wave him off, telling him there’s nothing to be thankful for. You remind him to hand in his essay before the following Friday and you say your goodbyes. 

There’s a slight empty feeling budding inside you, missing the attention of the younger boy, but ultimately you realize you had completely forgotten about the stress of the week; and there was an undeniable pep in Yuuji’s step as he made his way home that night... Today was truly a good day, for both of you. 

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑! I do not own any of the characters or people mentioned in my work. these are works of pure fiction that do not reflect the views, opinions, or actions of any person, real or fictional. Furthermore, all characters I write for [thirsts, drabbles, fics, etc.] are aged up to 21 or older – they are adults with adult characteristics presented and written in adult contexts.

all rights reserved © by maliciouslove. my work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. all fanfics belong to me, please do not copy, translate nor repost the fics or files seen above as this is strictly prohibited.

[selfindulgentpixies]

The hands that hold you

Part 7 of my SatoSugu x Gn!reader series is here! And yes it finally has an official name!

I'll put together a masterpost with links to all the parts and the title soon and have it linked in my pinned post. This is another soft chapter. There was more I was considering including but I really wanted to get this update out here. There's also art to go with it that will be at the end that you'll also be able to find on my art blog when I post it. For now enjoy a really fluffy chapter before things get rough again. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

CW: Reader is referred to with they/them pronouns, chan is sometimes attached to reader's name. Polyamory though that's part of why you're here i'm sure

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It’s been roughly two weeks since the failed mission when you find yourself called into Yaga’s office. When you make your way in and sit in front of him he places a new ID in the middle of the desk and pushes it toward you. You blink at him in confusion before taking it. It’s just like your curren’t ID until you notice a key change. “Wait… I’m being promoted to second grade sorcerer?” You look at him, surprise pushing your eyebrows toward your hairline. 

Yaga sighs but then smiles. “After that last mission, despite it ending how it did, Suguru and Satoru recommended you for promotion. Apparently you managed to impress them which is uncommon for the two of them” 

You turn the ID in your hand before slipping into your pocket. “I suppose it is.” 

Your hand is in your pocket thumbing over your new ID as you walk. In theory you should be happy about the promotion but you wanted to be sure you actually deserved it. You weren't sure you did honestly. You wonder if you should text either of your boyfriends about it. Your boyfriends… you feel your face heat up and you stop walking and lean against the hallway wall. You were not used to being able to think of them that way yet. It was so new. It was also the source of your current worry of whether or not you actually deserve the promotion. It felt a little too much like nepotism that the two of them endorsed your rise in grade.

Suddenly someone’s arm is resting on your shoulder and you and you don’t even need to look to see who it is. “Goodmorning, Haibara-kun.” You smile. 

He leans forward with a grin. “Good morning! It’s good to finally see you up and out of bed.”Nanami and I were starting to wonder when you’d be joining us again. “

“You know how Yaga is about me. He honestly made me stay on bed rest longer than I needed to be. At least I think so.” You push off from the wall and from under Haibara’s arm. 

“It’s good he cares so much though. It’s better to be safe than sorry by going out into the field before you’re ready,” He reasons. 

“I suppose… but it was painfully boring. Especially when everyone else was busy. I hate staying still for so long. Even if it was kinda nice to catch up on playing games…” 

“You were playing harvest moon or drawing most of the time when Nanami and I would come in and visit.” 

“Speaking of.. Where is Nanami? Normally the two of you are like a set,” you prod despite knowing its potential to backfire. 

Hairbara hums. “I’m actually about to go meet him. There’s a new bakery opening up he wants to go to. Wait, I know! How about you go with me. He’ll want to see that you’re up and moving around too.” And oh no he’s looking at you with those excited puppy dog eyes and you can’t find it in you to say no. Besides, you'd missed hanging out with your friends. 

“Yeah okay, I’ll go with. As long as you don’t think Nanami will mind.” 

Haibara gives a lil cheer and gives you a thumbs up. “Like I said, he’ll be glad to see you up and on your feet again.” 

Which is how you found yourself in a cozy little bakery, decorated in warm and earthy tones. The smell of all sorts of baked goods floating through the air. “You know you didn’t have to pay for me, Nanami.” 

He gives a small huff, his bangs coming loose and falling in his face so he has to push them back. “It’s fine. Think of it as a ‘glad you’re doing better’ gift.. Or something.” 

Haibara pipes in. “See I told you he would be glad to see you.” 

“That you did,” you say with a small laugh.  

“Annnd now that you’re fully recovered, on the note of I told you so’s…” Haibara’s grin threatened to split his face.

“Oh no..” You feel your face heating already knowing what he’s going to say. 

“So you’re really dating both Geto-senpai and Gojo-senpai now? I knew they liked you!” 

You groan. “Yeah yeah, you were right and I was oblivious.” You pointedly take a bite of your sandwich to try and spare yourself from saying more on the topic. 

Nanami makes a small sound before speaking up. “I mean I get Geto-senpai but I’m surprised you like Gojo-senpai too. Is it just because they’re a package deal or-” You cut him off, a small flare of irritation sparking in your chest as well as another emotion you can’t quite place in the moment. 

You swallow your bite a lil too soon so you can interject. “I like them both.” 

It must be something in your tone or the look on your face, you’re not entirely sure, but Nanami rubs the back of his neck glancing away, suddenly looking abashed. “Sorry.” 

“It’s-” you sigh “It’s fine. Just.. Don’t insinuate that I shouldn’t like Satoru just as much as I like Suguru okay?” Your shoulders sag slightly.

Nanami nods and Haibara looks between the two of you with a bit of confusion.”Am I missing something?” 

You shake your head. “No everything is fine.” You pause. “Actually can I get your guy’s opinion on something?” 

Both of them look at you. “Of course!” “Sure…” 

You take your new ID out of your pocket and place it in the middle of the table. “I uh.. Got promoted. Apparently Suguru and Satoru made the recommendation. But it just feels kinda off since I’m dating them now. I’m not sure I actually deserve it-”

Nanami shakes his head. “I doubt that. Why would they recommend you for something that would put you in more danger if they didn’t think you could handle it?” 

You blink. You hadn’t thought of it that way. “I suppose that makes sense...” 

Nanami folds his hands on the table next to his half eaten lunch. “Think about it. Being a second grade means that you’ll not only take on harder missions but will also be sent on some solo. If I cared about someone I wouldn’t recommend them to do dangerous things they couldn't handle for what.. A pay raise? Clout? If they recommended you be promoted that means they think you deserve it and more importantly can handle it.” Haibara is nodding along enthusiastically as Nanami talks. 

You nod, your doubts about the situation lifting. “Yeah that.. Thanks, Nanami.” 

He shrugs. “Just telling you what makes the most sense.” 

“We should go do something to celebrate your promotion!”

“I mean we’re already out to eat…” You feel a bit bashful at the idea. “And Nanami-kun already paid for lunch for me because of my recovery.” 

“Well then I can like.. Pay for ice cream ooor… we could go to an arcade! We should do something before you start getting sent out more.”  Haibara suggests while giving you his best puppy dog eyes. 

You sigh and smile. Really how can you say no to those big brown eyes and that pout. Nobody had bigger golden retriever energy than your friend. “Yeah okay, we can go to an arcade and maybe get a treat after.” 

Haibara cheers and pumps a fist into the air. It draws the attention of other patrons and Nanami lowers his head looking a bit embarrassed but still has the slightest smile curling his lips. 

The arcade is all lights and chimes of game music, the chatter of teenagers filling the space. The three of you lose several hours there with even Nanami being full of his share of smiles and laughter. How often do the three of you get to just be young like this? Not often enough surely. Never enough.  The three of you are contemplating where to go for icecream when you spot the claw machine. It was a nicer one, charged a bit more than the others. That’s not what caught your attention about it though. 

You wander over to the machine and almost like they were meant for you to see there’s a white cat plush with a blue ribbon and a bunny that’s such a dark shade of purple it’s nearly black with a gold ribbon opposite it across the machine. You’re taking out your money without even thinking about it. 

Nanami cuts into your thoughts. “You know it’s probably rigged right? In some of these machines the claw only properly grips things after so many attempts before it resets.” 

You turn toward him with a pout. “I wanna try anyway.” 

The blonde boy lets out a sigh. He knows that look on your face. You’ve already decided to throw your money away at this machine to get whatever it was you were fixated on. “What are you gonna try to win anyway?” He raises a brow when you suddenly look away from him bashfully and focus on putting in your money. “Well?”

“It’s two things actually” Oh so they were probably gonna be here for it a bit. And then you point at the white cat with blue eyes and bow then towards a similar dark purple rabbit with a gold bow. 

He blinks slowly, gears turning in his brain leading him to a conclusion that Haibara voices. “They kinda remind me of Gojo and Geto-senpai!” 

The silence is deafening between the three of you as you duck your head and send the claw toward the cat, the machine making a low buzz with the movement. The claw lowers and grips the cat by the bow, it raises, the machine buzzes lowly as it’s brought toward the chute and dropped in. You quietly lean down and take it out, and you hide your face in it. 

“That’s exactly why you want them, isn’t it?” Haibara nudges your shoulder with a smile. At your slight nod he speaks again. “Well I think that’s super sweet of you.” 

You glance at him for a moment, he doesn’t seem like he’s making fun of you, though being Haibara he’s never made fun of you in a way that would actually hurt. Just light teasing. His smile is earnest and you decide he means it. You hold the cat plush out to him. “Can you hold this while I win the other one?” 

“Of course!” He takes the plush. He can understand why you wouldn’t want to set it down anywhere in here. It’s a pristine white. 

The rabbit is harder to get unfortunately. You manage to pick it up several times but the claw always loses its grip or your aim is just slightly off. It’s been a half hour of attempts and you’re low on change and the energy around you is getting increasingly gloomy. Nanami hates being right sometimes. Which is why he gently nudges you aside. 

“Here let me try for it.” He doesn’t look at you as he says this but he still catches how your face lights up out of the corner of his eye and can’t help but smile a little. 

When he gets the plush on the first try and successfully drops it down the chute he is not expecting you to jump up and hug him. His cheeks go pink and he stands rigid. “H-hey-” 

“Thank you thank thank you!” You chant as you hug him tight before letting go and dropping back down to retrieve the rabbit. Haibara is laughing at your antics and Nanami gives him a half hearted glare. Truly it was nice for them both to see you so excited after everything that had happened recently. You bounce on the balls of your feet and retrieve the cat plush from Haibara. “Sooo icecream?” 

The sky is painted in brilliant hues of oranges and pinks as you and the other two first years finish ascending the steps to jujutsu tech, the summer heat having only broken somewhat by the time the three of you had to make the climb. You and Haibara collapse shoulder to shoulder on the ground. Nanami looks at the two of you as if to say ‘really?’ even though his bangs are clinging to his face with sweat and his face is flushed. “I really hate these stupid stairs.” You say this and there’s multiple reasons why that’s the case but at the moment it’s because of how much worse they make the heat seem.

The three of you rest in silence for several minutes before you speak up. “Thanks a lot for today you guys.. I had a lot of fun.” You stand and brush yourself off. 

“Of course! We’ve all been so busy lately and you were stuck in bed so long we needed to get out and do something fun.” Haibara says as he hops to his feet. “Hopefully we’ll get a chance to do it again soon.” 

“Preferably without you throwing your money at a rigged machine next time.” Nanami prods but you can tell from his voice he’s only teasing you. You stick your tongue out at him and shortly after you part ways from them.

It’s only after you’ve showered and placed a gift each in Satoru’s and Suguru’s rooms that you finally flop into your bed dramatically. You were exhausted. Today was the most active you’d been able to be in two weeks. You wished that even one of your boyfriend’s were on campus so you could curl up with one of them but they’d both been being sent on back to back missions after those first couple days of your recovery. Summer really was a terrible time for sorcerers. It didn’t seem fair that the two of them were tossed right back into the field. 

You pout and roll onto your stomach. You only got to see either of them in passing when they’d stop in to check with you between missions so you could physically see they were both alright. Otherwise you’d just been texting or calling when they had the chance. 

You perk up slightly when you hear a knock at the door, and now that you’re looking for it you feel Satoru’s energy. “You can come in ‘toru.” you’ve hardly finished speaking before your door slides open and Satoru enters your mostly dark room. He closes your door as an afterthought before making his way to you. Before you say anything else he’s flopping all of his lanky weight on top of you. “Satoru, you're too big for this! Ahh! Did you just get out of the shower?!” You try very hard to squirm away from him.

He ignores your protests and squishes you against the bed, his hair dripping water onto your face and pillow as he kisses your cheek obnoxiously and laughs when you try to shove his face away. “Stooop at least go dry your hair off first!” 

“I don’t think I will~” he sing songs though there’s a slight tiredness to it. He squishes his cheek against yours, his wet hair rests against your face and pillow. 

“Satoruuuuuu” You draw out his name in a whine. 

He hums and props himself up on an elbow, just looking down at you with bright eyes. Even in the moonlight you can see he’s tired though. He sets something on your chest you hadn’t noticed him bring in before given how he’d immediately smothered you in his affection. “Found the gift you left for me.” 

You feel your cheeks heat slightly as you scoot to sit up, catching the plush cat before it can tumble off your chest. “Do you like it?” You worry that the gifts you got for Satoru and Suguru would be seen as too childish despite your earlier determination and enthusiasm to get the plush toys. 

Satoru begins to tangle his legs with yours and curl around you. “Of course. It means my sweet ___-chan is thinking of me while I’m gone.” He takes the plush cat and places it on the bed next to you as he drags you down. “It’s cute. Also liked the box of sweets you left with it.” 

“..Did you eat the sweets already, Satoru?’ 

“I was hungry when I got back…” 

You sigh heavily but smile a little. “Well, I’m glad you liked what I got for you.” you bask in his presence before you speak again. “Two things though, you’re going to make us both sick by laying in my bed with soaking wet hair, and two my bed really isn’t big enough for both of us. You’re going to fall over the edge and drag me with you.” 

“What a romantic way to go then. Falling to our doom tangled together,” His tone is dramatic but there’s a boyish grin splitting his features, teeth bright in the moonlight.  You swat him on the chest drawing an “Oof!” from him as well as a laugh. It makes warmth bloom in your chest. 

“I mean it. We should either go to your room or to Suguru’s room so we’re there when he gets back. Also let me dry your hair if you’re too tired to do it.” Because honestly you’re pretty sure that's why he hasn’t done it yet.

He hums, seemingly considering your suggestions. “I suppose.. “ He pecks your lips before disentangling himself from you. Really he’d never turn down a chance to have you take care of him, and you do take care of him. You direct him to your blow dryer and you spend the next stretch of time drying his hair into a cloud of fluff, gently running your fingers through the strands and massaging his scalp. When his weight settles heavy against your legs from his place sitting with crossed legs on the floor you wonder if he managed to doze off. You click off the dryer and set it aside, continuing to card your fingers through his hair. 

“You still with me?” Your voice is soft and filled with affection. 

He nods and then yawns. “Yeah I’m awake.” He tips his head back to smile at you tiredly. “You sure we can’t just sleep in here?” 

“My bed is way too small for you even if you were alone let alone with us both on it. So pick, your room or Suguru’s? I’m sure he’ll be glad to see us waiting for him even if he shoves us over to get in bed.”

Satoru huffs. “You mean shoves me. He’d never push you out of the way and you know it.” 

You smile. “I know.” You lean down and rest your chin on top of Satoru’s head. “So what’s the verdict?” 

“Suguru’s room is closer than mine,” he states sleepiness lacing his words. 

You nod before sitting up straight and giving him a nudge to get up. You don’t point out how the difference in distance isn’t that much. Satoru stands and turns toward you with a long and languid stretch, his t-shirt riding up to expose his stomach. You poke his stomach making his muscles jump. When he glances down at you with narrowed eyes you blink up at him innocently.

You know what he’s about to do so you quickly swipe the cat plush before darting around him to the door. Unfortunately for you in the time it takes you to open the door he’s got you and the two of you tumble into the hall with him viciously attacking your sides with tickles. You squeal and kick trying to escape. 

“And what are the two of you doing?” A tired voice yet still amused voice drifts over the two of you. 

You’re still wheezing with giggles when both you and Satoru look up to see Suguru standing in the hall with a towel and a set of clean clothes over his arm. One can only assume he was on his way to the showers. His hair is half free of its bun and on the side where his hair is falling loose his face is smeared with grime. 

“Suguru!” You cheer, or are you pleading for assistance? 

“They’re being punished for the most grievous of crimes.” Satoru says all too seriously as he lets his face fall to your soft stomach drawing a grunt out of you. 

“I poked his stomach while he was stretching.”

This makes the dark haired boy snort. “Guess you get to deal with the consequences then.” He says with a smile as he steps around the two of you. 

“Noooo Suguru! Save me-” You’re cut off by another fit of laughter as Satoru resumes his assault. 

Suguru throws you a wave over his shoulder, leaving you at Satoru’s mercy. Chuckling when after he turns a corner he hears Satoru yelp indignantly. “You bit me!” 

“I-I” you gasp and giggle. “-I couldn’t breathe!” is the last thing he hears before he’s out of earshot. 

—

When Suguru returns from his shower it’s to Satoru sprawled half on top of you across his bed while you sit up playing on your phone while propped up against his head board. Apparently Satoru had forgiven you for biting him if the way his face was pressed into your stomach was any indication. 

You stop what you’re doing to greet him. “Feeling any better after your shower?” You were glad to see there was only minimal irritation on his face where the grime had been.

Suguru makes a noise that you interpret as confirmation. His hair is half wrapped in a towel as he makes his way into the room. He’s going for his blow dryer. At least he intended to dry his hair before bed unlike someone. 

“Do you want me to do it?” You ask, you’re tired yourself but for fun reasons unlike either of your boyfriends. 

Satoru whines, surprisingly awake. “Nooo then you have to move if you do that.” 

“Or I can just sit on you,” Suguru says dryly. 

“You wouldn't.” 

“Oh I wouldn’t just like __-chan wouldn’t bite you.” 

Satoru turns his head and narrows his gaze at Suguru for a moment before making a grumpy sound and rolling off you so he’s no longer sprawled across you and the bed, allowing you to shuffle to the edge. You repeat a similar process to what you had with Satoru, though Suguru’s hair takes more time since it’s longer and because you work some product into his hair. You lean down and kiss the top of his head once you’re done. “All set.” 

Suguru turns on the floor and wraps his arms around your middle before pressing a kiss to your sternum. “Thank you,” the words are murmured gently against your sleep shirt and you card your finger through his hair. The soft moment is only somewhat broken by Satoru snoringloudly on the other side of the bed. Suguru rolls his eyes and then stands. He urges you toward the middle of the bed so he can flop in, slinging an arm across your middle. “You didn’t have to wait up for me, you know?”

“But I wanted to,” you half cut off at the end in a yawn. 

You think Suguru sighs before he presses a kiss to your hair. “You’re too sweet, you know that?” 

You hum sleepily, not confirming nor denying. “Did you see your gift when you got back?” 

“I did, it’s cute.” He smiles against your hair. 

“Not too kiddish of a gift?” you ask shyly. 

Suguru squeezes you with the arm he slung across you earlier. “Not at all. Definitely helps prove my point that you’re too sweet. Saw the stuffed cat too when you and Satoru were flailing around in the hall. So you got us matching gifts. Did you get yourself one?” 

You shake your head. “No, just for the two of you. I gave the machine enough money as it was.” 

“Hmm?”

“Ah, I uh won them from a claw machine game today while I was out with Nanami and Haibara. I got the cat pretty easy but you can ask Haibara and Nanami how well getting the rabbit went. Nanami felt so bad for me after a half hour of failed attempts that he actually won it…” you trail of embarrassed. You’re not sure why you admitted that. 

“Went to all that trouble to make sure I got a gift too.” He kisses your forehead and gives you a moment to react and close your eyes before kissing your eyelids, then gently kissing your lips which you reciprocate, smiling into the kiss.

“Of course, you deserve it.” You glance away from him and he feels warmth swell in his chest. He gives you another gentle kiss before shuffling down the bed slightly so he can lay his head on your chest above your heart, listening to how it beats rabbit quick at his actions. He falls asleep like that, not even caring that it leaves his feet partially hanging off the bed. You absently card your fingers through his soft hair as you lay there, waiting for sleep to take you as well.

Art by me of the stuffed animals reader won. My art account is @rossithepixie

___

And here it is! I hope you guys enjoyed this one. It was getting pretty long and I really wanted to get out the next chapter since it's been a couple weeks because I got too sick to write very much. I've already started on chapter 8 so hopefully as long as my health holds there won't be as much of a delay.

Tag list: @strawberrystepmom @nanamikentoseyebags @gojoest @icy-spicy @sleezzsister @moonsua1 @yuuuumii @yokaimoon @chibiizzy @porridgesblog @suhmie @defacatestenderly

[richeeduvie]

Hey BCS and Succession lovers…

(Yes, to the people who’ve managed to follow me, I’m quick with it)

I’m richeeduvie, a fellow lover of BCS and Succession.

I have loads of fanfic content dealing with self-inserts for Roman Roy and Lalo Salamanca, but I also write and have been writing for other Better Call Saul and Succession characters for over an year now 😌. About a month and a half ago, my blog was marked explicit (wrongly) and I suffered the consequences of my content being seen by me unless my followers/mutual went through about three setting loopholes.

Still, I wrote an embarrassing amount of things for Lalo and Roman (and Logan-) during that month and a half and if you don’t want to miss out on any content cause if you’re like me and able to consume an unnecessary amount of fanfiction of characters who don’t exist, then you’ll enjoy me 😌.

I don’t know if what I wrote during my time will ever appear in tags, but all you have to do is search of #richeeblockedblogera for my fanfic content that I wrote when my blog was marked explicit or if my old content will ever appear in the tags again as well. But it’s lots of stuff. Fun stuff.

Anyways, here’s the masterlists for Roman and Lalo. Please do read if you’d like, I still have to updated and create new masterlists so what you see isn’t even half of it, but that’s just my procrastination talking. But I just want to take this time to say I AM UNSHACKLED!!!!

[the-himawari]

A3! Miyoshi Kazunari - Translation [SSR] MANKAI Treasure (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

*flashback starts*  

Kazunari: Phew… Lovelin and the others at the Dog Circus sure were adorable~. Everyone was just too cute, I keep looking at the pics I took of them on my phone over and over again.

*door opens*

Kazunari: Ah, welcome back, Tax! Are you back from a run?  

Tasuku: Yeah. I was running along the riverbank.  

Kazunari: You go on both a morning run and an evening run… your self-discipline is no joke~.  

Tasuku: Well, I enjoy running after all. …  

Kazunari: Hm? What’s up?  

Tasuku: …Are those pictures from the circus? That reminds me that I actually watched the dog circus the other day.  

Kazunari: Huh? Hold on, are you talking about the same dog circus I appeared in?  

Tasuku: Are there any others?  

Kazunari: HUHH!? You came to watch! You should’ve shot me a line if that’s the case~!  

Tasuku: Sorry about that. I was going to tell you but missed the chance to.  

Kazunari: Sooo, how was it?  

Tasuku: Well… it was fun, plain and simple.  

Kazunari: I know, right~! It totes raises your sprits right up! Ah, and me? How ‘bout me?  

Tasuku: You worked hard, didn’t you? The crowd was riled up when you guys appeared too.  

Kazunari: Woohoo! Tax complimented me ♪  

Tasuku: Also… the dogs were a sight to see. Their skills were impressive with the way they carried the balls so well and jumped so dynamically.  

Kazunari: Ah, right! You’re a dog lover, aren’tcha! Is that why you came~?  

Tasuku: …That’s not the only reason, okay?  

Kazunari: I’ll just leave it at that~. …Ah, that’s right! That reminds me, there’s a spot I wanna go with you, Tax. If you’re down, then let’s go together!  

Tasuku: Huh? A spot you want to visit?  

-pause-  

Dog A: Woof, woof!  

Kazunari: They’re so cute I’m gonna die~! Shiba inu cafes are a fluff-filled heaven! Here, here. Head pats for you~.  

Dog A: Woof!  

Tasuku: They’re brimming with energy…  

Dog B: Arf, arf.  

Dog C: Bark!  

Kazunari: I wanted to try coming here with you since you love dogs~… err, woah! The puppies are all over you, Tax. They’re all gathering at your feet! Give them some pats~!  

Tasuku: Sure thing. …Here, here.  

Dog B: Arf ♪  

Dog C: Woof~.  

Kazunari: The interaction between a big, rugged man and an adorable little doggo totally hits~. Let me snap a pic later!  

Tasuku: No.  

Kazunari: Aww! Buzzkill!  

Dog D: Arf, arf, arf!  

Tasuku: Would you like me to throw this ball? Here goes—.  

Dog D: ARF, ARF!  

Dog B: Woof, woof…!  

Tasuku: Hey, that tickles. Haha. Here. Good boy.  

Kazunari: (Tax is smiling from ear to ear~. What a rare expression we don’t usually get to see!)  

-pause-  

Kazunari: Ha, they were all so cute~. Tax with the dogs was super cute too. It was relaxing and I got to see something great!  

Tasuku: …I’m not a spectacle.  

Kazunari: But you know what they say! Good people are liked by animals! The doggies could totally tell, wouldn’t you say~?  

Tasuku: …I don’t know about that.  

Kazunari: Ahaha. Just take the compliment, will ya~! Ah, look. There’s a merch corner! There’s plushies and mug cups… All of them look cute~!  

Tasuku: I see… they have stationary too?  

Kazunari: —! Hey, lookie here, Tax! Isn’t this t-shirt cute af!?  

Tasuku: …Uh. The dog is cute, but is the shirt cute…?  

Kazunari: It totally is! But it might look pretty funny if you wore this, huh? Why don’t you wear it as your rehearsal shirt?  

Tasuku: No thanks.  

Kazunari: As expected~. Btw, do you still have some time after this, Tax? I won’t take no for an answer!  

Tasuku: What is happening? …Well, I don’t have any particular plans.  

Kazunari: I’ll treat you to a meal as thanks for coming along with me! I found a restaurant that has some tasty-looking chilled ramen~. You like chilled ramen, right?  

Tasuku: I mean, yeah… I’m surprised you remember.  

Kazunaru: That’s because I thought it was cute that you like chilled ramen! I’ll guide, so you drive! Let’s go!  

Tasuku: Good grief...

*flashback ends*  

Kazunari: After that place started serving chilled ramen, we started going there together every now and then~.  

Tasuku: …Right. I guess that was the trigger. On that note, here’s your present.  

Kazunari: Thanks! “On that note” was a weird segway, but okay! Can I open it?  

Tasuku: Yeah.  

Kazunari: I wonder what could be inside~ ♪

*opens*

Kazunari: —EH!? Isn’t this the t-shirt they were selling at the shiba inu café!  

Tasuku: I remembered you liked it. I passed in front of the shiba inu café and they weren’t selling the exact same design… but I found and bought something similar. Like you said back then, you can wear this t-shirt during rehearsals.  

Kazunari: I’m so happy~! Thanksies! I’ll wear it ‘til it gets all worn out!  

Tasuku: Great. I’m glad if you like it. Since we’ve come all the way here, we might as well have some cold ramen, right?  

Kazunari: Of course!  

Tasuku: It’s your birthday, so I’ll treat you this time.  

Kazunari: Tax is so generous! Yippee!  

Tasuku: Alright, let’s go in.  

Kazunari: Ah! Hold up. You haven’t said happy birthday to me yet, have you!?  

Tasuku: Ah… …Happy birthday, Miyoshi.  

Kazunari: Thanks, Tax~!

---

previous | next

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

[tetsumie]

𝐈 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋

pairing: kuroo x gen!neutral reader

genre: angst

content: you love kuroo but circumstances make it a hard to love him unconditionally

a/n: slightly self indulgent :( but anyways this is my first fic on this blog and i'm trying to get back into writing again which feels really nice <3 also i miss my boy kuroo :(

god, how you wish you wouldn't have to do what you're about to do.

sitting on the bench in front of the lake, you fiddle with your fingers waiting for your boyfriend, kuroo, to show.

it wasn't a date or anything and he told you he was coming from a study group with some friends to meet you. the whole thing was an incredibly sporadic meetup.

"y/n!" you hear his voice and you turn your neck to see him slightly jogging towards you with his messy hair.

"hi tetsu," you reply with a small smile on his face.

he slows down his pace as he reaches you and his lips turn upwards into that smirk that you've grown to love in the months of your relationship with him.

his stupid little smirk.

"did i keep you waiting for too long?" he asks you.

you shook your head. "no no no! i was just looking at the lake for a bit and listening to some music. don't worry about it."

"sorry... study group kind of got carried away. organic chem is kicking our asses," he replies with a chuckle and you let out one as well.

"but... i did get you flowers!" he pulls out a bouquet of white carnations and your heart flutters but the feeling is immediately retracted when you remind yourself why you called him over.

"t-tetsu, you really didn't have to," you begin to stammer.

"sure i didn't have to but i wanted to," he kisses your cheek. "anything for my pretty."

he puts the bouquet in your hands and sits with you on the bench, viewing the lake with you. you're unusually quiet and kuroo feels something is off.

as he's about to ask you what's wrong, you intervene with, "tetsu can we walk for a bit?"

"y-yeah sure."

the both of you stand up and begin to walk around the sidewalk surrounding the lake. people of all kinds are here. some are walking their dogs, some with their kids, others out on a jog, some riding their skateboards, and more. even couples just like you and kuroo are present.

you still aren't saying anything and any topic kuroo brings up, you're giving curt responses and it's worrying him. what's going on?

"y/n," kuroo's upbeat voice turns to one with a bit of a more stern tone. "stop."

you stop moving and you turn to meet his honey golden brown eyes.

those honey golden brown eyes filled with love and affection just for you.

looking him in the eye was still intimidating to you even after all this time and you felt the goosebumps form on your arm.

"what's going on?" he tilts his head. "you haven't said much the entire time we've been here."

you break eye contact and you're looking everywhere else on his face other than his eyes now. you know the moment you look into his eyes, he's going to read you like an open book and you're going to burst into tears.

"my mom and dad want us to break up."

the world around kuroo silences. he can't hear the dogs barking anymore or the sound of the skateboard wheels riding along the cement or the laughter from the children walking around with their families. the only thing he can hear are your words.

"oh."

you can see the heartbreak take over his handsome facial features and you can't help but feel at fault for all of it. it's your fault now that he's upset.

"but why? i didn't do anything! i mean, we haven't formally met, but we've said hello and stuff on call! i don't think i was disrespectful? right, i wasn't disrespectful?" he begins to ramble.

"no, tetsu, you were never disrespectful to them." you reply in a low voice.

"then why do they want us to break up? it doesn't make sense.. we haven't done anything wrong?" he asks.

"they just... they think me in a relationship with you is all too soon. us being in such a committed relationship is too soon."

you bit your lip waiting for his response and his gaze refused to leave your face. "y/n, there must be something more to this. tell me the entirety of their reasoning."

goddammit, he would always be able to read you like an open book.

"they were talking about how... well.. they don't think you're good for me.." you mumble.

he doesn't say anything for a moment and you feel your heart drop. you look at him and now his face is unreadable. you can't seem to figure out what's going through his mind.

"i'll talk to them," determination laced with his voice. "i'll change their mind."

"tetsuro, please..." you grab his wrist and you refuse to look back up at him knowing if you do, the tears will unconventionally fall. "it's not... it's not worth it."

"our relationship is worth it to me!" he says, his voice growing louder. "your parents are trying to pull us apart and you're just letting them! don't you want to try?"

"don't you think i did?!" you reply.

"i told them you're different! i told them how much i love you and how much you care about me and how i'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you if you asked me to! i would do it in a heartbeat! i told them that you, you, are my first love."

he hears the pain in your voice as you begin to tell him.

"kuroo, i never wanted to hurt you but i... i'm in a tough spot where i don't want to hurt my parents but i don't want to hurt you either."

he feels the wet tear droplets on his wrist and he realizes you're crying. and it hits him.

"how long have you been keeping this in?"

"..."

"how long, y/n?"

"about a month now..."

you've known for so long and yet you couldn't tell him. were you that horrified to tell him about it? he sighs. he hates the fact that you're crying.

and a part of him feels responsible for your tears.

"so what now?" he asks. "what do you want to do?"

you begin to wipe your tears, still refusing to look him in the face. you can't bare to see the expression on his face after everything that's been said.

"i... i don't know."

silence fills the space between you too and neither one of you know what to say. you refuse to look at him and he won't stop looking at your figure in front of him, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you'll look up at him.

"y/n," he says with a strength that you weren't expecting from him. "look at me... please?"

it comes out as more of a request and you can't not look up at him. your heart breaks even more at the sight. there are tear stains on his face and his eyes are stained light red.

his eyes. his honey golden brown eyes. the ones that would hold a soft gaze reserved just for you have now turned erratic and empty altogether.

he looks so vulnerable right now and you feel that it's your fault that your relationship is crumbling so quickly.

"let's break up kuroo," you tell him before he can say anything to sway your heart and mind. "i've been thinking about this for too long and i need to accept my parents' wishes."

his heart chips even more when you call him by his last name. his body screams to stop you from making this decision. he wants to believe this is all some horrifying prank but with the way your eyes are looking at him, he knows it's not.

"okay," he says.

"okay," you reply back.

he bends down a little and takes your face in his palms and you resist the urge to rub your cheek along his familiar palm like you used to. he rubs his thumb along your cheek and you feel the hot tears forming in your eyes.

right as a tear slip pasts your eye, kuroo's lips meet your cheeks and he begins to kiss away every tear that seems to slip away from your eyes.

you're never going to be able to feel his touch on your face again.

you're never going to feel the warmth of his skin on yours again.

you're never going to be able to feel the way his calloused hand fits into yours.

you're never going to be able to feel him again.

his last kiss ends on your lips and you don't have it in you to kiss him back, scared of making a decision you would regret. as he pulls away from you, you open his palm and place the bouquet of flowers back in his hands.

"don't give this back to me; it's yours," he tells you.

"please take it back... i don't want them."

with much hesitation, he takes back the flowers he picked out for you and his arms drop to his sides.

"i love you, you know that right?" you begin to say. "i love you. so fucking much."

he pulls you in for a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"i love you, always," he speaks it into the air and places a chaste kiss on the top of your head.

"i always will."

© tetsumie 2023 all rights reserved 

[archangeldyke-all]

okay, here goes! One BSAA agent Sevika request as promised - I'm sorry if its too long and not very good, I'm still getting back into the flow of regular writing but thank you for showcasing on your blog, as a big fan of yours it means a lot! - Starlight

(I'm rubbish at tagging, but there are mentions of bioterrorism, outbreaks of fictional infection, creatures, death and loss of family members, loss of a pet, please add more if I've forgotten any)

Sevika was a gym rat before the outbreak, worked as a personal trainer at her local gym.

Pointedly ignored her father’s demands she join Raccoon City PD, just like him and her younger brother.

She knew she probably would eventually join up; thought she had all the time in the world to make her mind up.

Then the T-Virus happened.

Her father and brother were killed trying to battle the infected in the streets. Sevika lost everything during those awful days, even her dog.

She made it out during the evacuation, moving from place to place, joining up with any anti-bioterrorism group who will have her.

She never talks about Raccoon City, and people know better than to ask her about it.

By the time she meets one Chris Redfield, she’s lethal. Her hand-to-hand combat and weapons training have been meticulously honed.

Chris likes her immediately. Watching Sevika go toe-to-toe with a Hunter, and winning, he knew this woman had to join his squad.

During a mission gone bad, she loses an arm to a Licker. Chris sees to it personally through his BSAA connections that she’s fitted with a state of the art prosthetic.

She meets you in the floating city of Terragrigia and for the first time in a long time, the world suddenly doesn’t feel so grim.

She’s a typical BSAA agent, striding around in her combat gear like she owns the place, always on the lookout for danger. Her not so typical prosthetic is a glossy black, and she keeps it immaculate so it’s always glinting in the sun.

You’re a no nonsense bartender who knows her whiskey, with a piercing stare that quashes any trouble and a dazzling smile that nearly has her missing her mouth and spilling whiskey down her front.

She frequents the bar you work in, many BSAA agents do. One night, when you slide her usual whiskey over to her, she smirks, writes down her number on the little napkin then saunters over to her BSAA buddies as you gape after her.

Your first few dates are casual, she takes you out for coffee, to the cinema. She holds your hands, kisses you gently after each date. By date number four or five, it seems her patience has finally worn thin when she grabs you after dinner and presses you against the door of your apartment. The kiss is intense, too much and not enough, filled with the sultry promise of what’s to come. That night, she breaks your bedframe and apologises profusely, but she’s not sorry really, not when she smirks as she watches you walk shakily around your apartment the morning after.

After 5 months, you find yourself moving into her apartment.

She takes the same breakfast every day, oatmeal and black coffee. She’s pleasantly surprised when you start adding some ‘pizzazz’ to her oatmeal, some blueberries here, a sprinkle of cinnamon, even caramelised apples. She rolls her eyes and grumbles that ‘plain oatmeal does the job just fine’ but she’s getting worse and worse at hiding her smile.

She has terrible nightmares. She never seems to wake from them, calling for her father, her brother, her dog Finn. All you can do is wrap your arms around her, soothing her by speaking softly in her ear, stroking her hair. She relaxes now when she feels you, but her arms always tighten around you, the only person she isn’t willing to fathom losing.

When the Terragrigia Panic starts, and hundreds of Hunters are released into the city in the worst act of bioterrorism the world has seen, Sevika has only one goal: find you.

She fights her way out of the BSAA HQ, races to your apartment just to find it empty. She sinks to her knees, she thinks ‘not again’ but then she hears your frightened whimpers coming from the bedroom closet.

When she tears open that closet door to find you curled up inside, one of her handguns clutched in your trembling hand, she almost breaks down crying. But she stays strong, for you. She gathers you up in her arms, kisses you so fiercely you stop thinking and then she gets you out of there.

An armoured BSAA escort is awaiting, and yet again Sevika manages to escape the chaos with her life, and something far more precious to her.

A Hunter tries to attack while everyone’s getting loaded into the vehicles and you watch with equal amounts horror, morbid fascination, pride and let’s be real, horny as Sevika roars and punches the creature square in the face.

Chris shakes his head, grinning and you can’t seem to pick your jaw up off the floor. Sevika quirks an eyebrow at the both of you as the convoy pulls away from the carnage unfolding, the BSAA having been ordered to withdraw. “What? Nobody comes at me or my girl without catching hands, Hunter or not!”

Chris says nothing, and all you can mumble through your daze as Sevika wraps you in her warm arms is “I think I need to come with you on some missions…for science.”

THIS IS AMAZING omg i've never played this game before but this fic is making me want to holy shit. i'm so excited to see what else you come up with in the future!!!!! woah. this was so good!!!!

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[buildarocketboys]

Crimson Peak notes @tumbleclub

So I took notes throughout my rewatch so under the cut is basically a live blog of my thoughts and feelings - spoilers for Crimson Peak throughout since I refer to what happens later in the movie from the start.

The main things I want to say about this movie though are 1. It's such a masterpiece of gothic horror. The aesthetic, the story, the characters, the relationships, the SYMBOLISM...all so on point that it almost feels TOO on the nose at times (except it doesn't because I love it. It's perfect, mwah). And 2. I love all the characters. They're all so compelling, they're all, in some ways, sympathetic (yes even Lucille...god forbid women do anything etc etc). I just love watching these fucked up (and less fucked up, shout-out to Alan, you the real MVP) relationships play out, it's so *chef kiss*

Anyway, here's my play by play thoughts. Warnings for incest, murder, horror and gore (although I don't actually talk about the gore much, it's a fairly gory movie when it comes to the murder/attempted murder and such though)

- 'a parasite with a title' go off Edith

- also she'd prefer to be Mary Shelley because she died a widow. She's so metal

- her relationship with her dad is so cute. Shame he dies

- Thomas coming in dressed in black from head to toe...

- also immediately clocking Edith and flirting with her...he knows what he's doing

- the red clay is fucking genius

- London... Edinburgh... Milan 👀

- her dad sees right through him from the start...we have to stan

- For being who are only trying to help Edith, they sure are scary

- LUCILLE!

- THE NOT QUITE LIP KISS

- He really is pushing all Edith's boundaries (and society's boundaries) from the very beginning huh

- "I don't want to close my eyes. I want to keep them open." is an interesting character quote for Edith

- Love Alan indulging her ghost obsession.. besties. But also him mentioning ghosts being minerals in the earth... very interesting..

- from my fiancée @judasisgayriot - "love that this is supposed to be a sunny day but the colour palette is so washed out and dull"

- Lucille ultimate goth queen. Feeding the butterfly to the ants... (Also just noticed that on the DVD cover a butterfly is sitting on Edith's hand...we love symbolism)

- "it's mine I want it back" about the ring. Because she took it from their mother when she killed her but also because SHE'S Thomas's wife

- Dad sees RIGHT through him

- "thoroughly break her heart" and then he comes for her writing. God. Yeah. Fuck him. But he clearly means it "perfection has no place in love" which makes it hurt all the more

- Love that the obvious way to kill him is to either use the razor or drown him in the sink, but no, Lucille fucking bashes his head in on the sink. Kind of badass ngl

- The thing about Edith is she really WANTS to be a protagonist in a ghost story, which is probably why she ignores alllll those red flags

- That said, I DO think she should have picked up on some of them, Jesus girl

- "you've been married a while" + one of the previous wife's dog as soon as they arrive...

- This house is a fucking wreck Thomas!! This would not pass health and safety regulations!! Girl run!

- He really has to stop himself from kissing Lucille. Then definitely smells her

- The bloody pipes... honestly you could be forgiven for thinking it's too on point. Not me though, I love it. The more obvious symbolism the better

- I love the fact that Thomas chose her BECAUSE he actually fell in love with her. Which Lucille CAN'T know (and TBF idk if Thomas even knows himself completely yet. He's playing a role but also he's not)

- GREEN GDT BATHROOM!! One of the jankiest ones, but it's still (crimson) peak!

- I love the bloody mist effect on the ghosts, like they're still bleeding but they're in gaseous form now so so is their blood

- Lucille creeping through the keyhole...

- Edith's fantasy of their childhood vs their Flowers in the Attic reality

- "I don't want her to miss a single thing we do" STAN LUCILLE

- Love her trying to get the lowdown on whether Edith and Thomas have fucked yet

- The huge moths thriving as opposed to the butterflies being eaten...

- Thomas like "You're not like other girls"

- Thomas's workshop and inventions are nice and make him more sympathetic. Definition of poor little miaow miaow. Terrible but also sad and pathetic

- Also these ghosts are fucked up, they definitely didn't just die of being poisoned or whatever.

- Surprised her father's ghost doesn't make an appearance...all the ghosts are women (except for Thomas right at the end)

- Edith: "Has anyone died in this house." Thomas: "Duh, it's a really old house. Americans 🙄"

- Oop...crimson peak mention...too late for poor Edith

- Ohhh shit she's coughing up blood (gdi Lucille giving her poisoned tea)

- I love that she tries to commune with the honestly pretty fucking scary ghosts. She's such a horror girlie

- Oh this one took a cleaver or something to the head

- I'd just stay in the post office and refuse to leave tbh. It looks cosy

- Love that Edith is a writer girlie too

- She's SOOOOOO fucking mad that she slept with him, she almost brains Edith with a fucking saucepan

- Ooooooh the bloody footprints from the clay

- Also Edith doing her little detective bit, stealing the keys

- The basement with the clay vats is so creepy. I mean so is the entire house but yeah. God. Perfect place to hide a body

- She's so mad that he wants Edith to see it

- Lucille DOES love to trauma dump on Edith lol

- Love that this is the first time Thomas explicitly acknowledged the poison tea and tells her not to drink it

- "We stay together. Never apart." "Never apart."

- "You couldn't leave me. You wouldn't." "I can't."

- ALANNN

- Also love that they're talking about the murders, sure, but also the incest. This is a conversation they've had multiple times. And in this one thing, Lucille sees it clearly. Thomas doesn't, or doesn't want to, wants to believe that he can make this work with all three of them, somehow (boy you're dreaming)

- Oop here we go with the sibling fucking!!

- Lucille is so possessive and victorious lmao

- Love that Edith immediately jumps to "you're not his sister" because incest does not compute

- Alan knows her so well so he knows what she means by her mother and crimson peak

- Yassss Thomas stab him non-fatally! King shit (lmao)

- Wow burning the book...cold

- "None of them ever fucked Thomas"

- Poor incest baby 👶

- THE HORROR WAS FOR LOVE

- This speech is everything to me.

- IT IS A MONSTROUS LOVE AND IT MAKES MONSTERS OF US

- "You should have seen him as a child. He was perfect." (Vs perfection has no place in love 👀👀)

- They're so sad honestly. I can't help but feel sorry for them. Even Lucille

- "you lied to me" "I did" "you poisoned me" "I did" "you told me you loved me" "I do" AGGHHHH SO GOOD

- The fact that he thinks they can all start a new life together. Oh honey.

- Interesting that ghost Thomas is white to match the snow instead of red or black like the other ghosts

- She literally heard you the first time Lucille! God! (Badass of her actually)

- Edith's speech with Lucille's ghost playing piano at the end...so good

[bossalphadotdocx]

[would you save me a spark? we'll light up the dark]

Pairing: Captain John Price x GN!Reader (3rd pov)

A/N: baby's first fic on this blog! Fierce is the callsign for reader. My sister may be a doctor but I'm not one and it's too late to ask her abt medical conditions by the time I'm writing this

Cw: major character death (you, as the reader), grief, medical inaccuracies

Part 2

He held their body close to his chest. Damn his vest for blocking to feel the last warmth left in their body. He could feel their blood seeping into his sleeves, his gloves. Then he saw it. The necklace he gave them fell out of their neckline alongside their dog tags.

It made a soft cling amongst the loud battlefield. And that's when his heart truly stopped.

He regretted everything. He regretted for not telling them of his feelings earlier than he should. He regretted of the missed chances. He regretted for dismissing the hints.

"Wherever you go, captain, I shall follow." Those were the last words they told him through the comms.

"Goddammit, and here you are...going to a place where I can't follow."

He sobbed. "I'm so sorry...sweetheart."

The spark of his life...now only a fleeting embers in the air.

-

They hummed a tune. One that Price often heard them humming before missions. He got curious and asked them, "I always hear you humming that, what's the title?" The sergeant looked at him with a smile and they grinned.

"The title of the song is Save Me a Spark, sir. It's by Sleeping With Sirens. If you're curious, you might want to check their entire discography."

It turned out, Price didn't like most of their songs except for select few. And Save Me a Spark was one of them. In the privacy of his office, the song often on replay.

One day, Gaz walked in without knocking and he grinned ear to ear when he heard that his captain listening to a certain sergeant's favorite song. When Gaz pointed it out, Price couldn't help blushing and yelled at him to get out. He knew he wouldn't get a good night's sleep that night because obviously Gaz going to tell Soap about their captain's crush toward one of their members. He wouldn't worry much about Ghost.

One day before another mission, the team was preparing themselves. Pulling on their gears and clipping their ammo's to their vests. Price looked at one of his sergeants, his hands still busy with his vest, shuffled on his feet nervously. "I listened to their discography, sergeant but...their music way too loud for me."

The sergeant chuckled instead. "I know, cap. Rock isn't for everyone. It's nothing to be ashamed of." They said as they clicked the last things they needed to their vest.

Price felt his ears reddened. Praying no one noticed, he asked them, "What's your favorite genre then, sergeant?" He felt like it's a silly thing to ask. As if he's going back to high school years trying to make a move on a girl who looked at him weird with that question.

The sergeant put their finger on their chin and hummed. He could hear shuffling behind him and some whispers that he knew coming from Gaz and Soap. The little shits.

"Beside the obvious rock genre, I listen to pretty much anything, sir. A bit of pop, K-pop, hip-hop, anything really. It's a hit or miss too." They said. "If you want, I can give you a playlist of my favorites?" At this, he heard some hissing behind him, "Say yes! Say yes!"

To which he nodded, a bit enthusiastically. "Yes, I would love to."

The sergeant smiled and bumped their fist onto Price's vest. "After this mission then. Hope you will enjoy some of my faves too!"

He grinned. Hard not to, afterall.

"It's a promise, then."

They smiled at Price, made a salute gesture and nodded. "See you later, cap!"

After a short while, he could hear whistles behind him. The other two sergeants of 141 and the lieutenant, most especially the former two were giving him a face of both amusement and shit eating grins. Even he could see the squint on Ghost's eyes. The three of them going to be the death of him.

--

The mission, apparently, went awry. What he thought would be a quick "get in, get out" mission went south real quick. It's a short miracle the five of them made it out alive with only minor scratches and bruises on them. He tended to his brave soldiers, all thanks to Gaz for pulling Soap and Fierce out.

Once they're in the base clinic, it turned out that Fierce got a light concussion and they needed rest. They grumbled under their breath and Price offered to bring them to their room to which Fierce nodded, head still down. Price knew they were gritting their teeth, holding in the headache that came from the concussion.

After checking the other three for the last time, Price lead the way and put his hand on their back for a second, to Fierce to move forward, signalling them it's time for them to rest in their room. They nodded and walked beside Price.

"You must rest right away, soldier. We did some damage to them before things went shit." He tried to assure them. Fierce huffed and just kept walking beside him. Price could see them trying to keep up with his pace and he slowed down for their sake. They just got a concussion after all.

For the entirety of their walk to Fierce's room, they kept silent. One which Price would raise an eyebrow at, as he knew Fierce was quiet talkative even with him. He knew they got concussion but this...is very quiet of them.

As they arrived at their destination, Price said "Is something bothering you, Fierce?". Fierce halted their movement to open the door to their room and looked up at their captain's face, only for them to look into his eyes for a second and then lowered it to the ground.

They wriggled with their fingers then shook their hands away on their sides--Price noticed the tick. "It's nothing, sir."

Price crossed his arms, his stance was a sign of patience, silently urging them to tell him what's on their mind and he would wait for them. It was obvious the captain wasn't going anywhere until he got his answers, they sighed. "I'm upset that I couldn't tell you about my favorite songs right away after the mission, sir."

Price's eyebrows went deep into his beanie. Surprised at the answer as that's not one he was expecting.

He was expecting...some self blaming and ready to give them a piece of his mind if they did. But this one made him flabbergasted.

They both stood in silence, in the hall which thankfully no one was there to witness his moment of weakness. He scratched his mustache, a poor attempt in trying to calm down the sudden thumping of his heart. He uncrossed his arms and put them on his hips instead.

He smiled and patted Fierce's shoulder.

"It's fine, Fierce. There's always tomorrow. How about this, you can come into my office tomorrow morning and we can listen to your favorites together?" He offered.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Goodness, this feeling is worse than being shot in the shoulder.

They beamed. And it was one of the most beautiful sight Price ever laid his eyes on and he subconsciously smiled too. Fierce nodded so fast, their eyes squinted from how big their smile was it made Price worry because the last thing they all need was another trip back to the base clinic.

Then Fierce clutched their head and Price quickly grabbed their arms to help them balance themself. They quickly reassured him, sheepishly, they said "It's okay, cap. I got too excited, nothing a short rest won't help." They quickly opened their door and walked into their room.

But before they had the chance to close the door, Price held it open with his hand, leaning a bit inside and quickly he told them, "John."

Fierce looked up, confusion evident on their face.

"You can call me John...when we're in private."

The sergeant grinned, white teeth on display, and nodded. "I will see you tomorrow...John."

---

Final A/N: TBH I DIDN'T EXPECT TO MAKE IT THIS LONG and make it a series to boot? Oh god forbid. This fic alone took me almost a week what with work and masters degree I'm currently having. Don't ask when the next update is, but I'm surely hooked w this fic to continue it!

[violivs]

NMTDaily: VOX POPS

- Hi all! I’m going to be rewatching along with TCWs NMTDaily and making posts about each episode, or as many as I can (I might miss some, but I hope not!)

- I want to start by saying thank you again to The Candle Wasters for making my favorite thing. Just, the amount of joy and creative fulfillment and friendship and delight I’ve gotten from this show and this fandom is still unmatched. Thank you so much for making it and sharing it. The love and care and skill with which NMTD was made still shines through and I’m still so awed by it. I think I was probably somewhat overdramatic about my reactions to Lolilo in places where you, TCW, could see, on my main blog, and you didn’t deserve that. I really hope I didn’t send you any aggressive asks about it, or make you uncomfortable in any way. I’m a little afraid I did, but I don’t know for sure. If I did, I apologize. I’m older and more mature now, I promise. I hope you’re all doing so very well now!

- I didn’t realize until today that Project I: VOX POPS was posted first, before any other video in the series. I didn’t start watching NMTD until right around the time Benedick’s first Q&A video was posted, so I binged the first chunk of episodes around that time. It will be interesting to watch them at a slower pace this time!

- I am immediately overwhelmed with warm fuzzies at seeing these characters again. They’re such babies! I love them!

- I never made a post about this, but Ben’s first line being about how he shares a (differently spelled) name with a Pope is both a great first line for him on a character level since he starts as kind of a cocky overconfident asshole (a cover for his soft sensitive insides) AND it’s evidence for my theory that he’s probably Catholic, but lapsed/non-practicing/maybe agnostic or atheist solely because I WILL keep projecting parts of me onto this character, it’s just what I do at this point. Other evidence: he has a confirmation name. We don’t get his full name til Lolilo, but still. And he’s partly Scottish, which can account for the fact that English people usually are not Catholic.

- “you need to imitate an eagle, that’ll scare them away!” That’s Ben’s second line and first bird reference! Already! Wow.

- The favorite band question! Mumford and Sons! Fife and the Drums! Sheep Dog and Wolf! The LORE! The REFERENCES! We’re already off to the races.

- “I don’t need chat-up lines” Beatrice I love you , and you have no idea what’s coming.

- I forgot about Beatrice’s Favorite T-Shirts Ranking System lol

- Extremely funny that Ben says bananas are his favorite food and then he goes on to become synonymous with mangoes instead. Sorry, buddy, you will always be Mango Skin Boy to us. xD

- I forgot how delightful Dogberry and Verges are in this episode

- “that you would leave me” oh Meg. Oh honey. Oh no.

- I’ve seen nine seasons of Doctor Who and only five episodes of Game of Thrones since 2014. Sorry Bea, I side with Ben on this one. And I’ve seen one season of Community. I’m slowly hacking away at the list of media referenced in nmtd that I need to watch!

- love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free! ❤️

- Balthazar plays every instrument, of course.

- Bea must not have an ear for music if she hated that question enough to force Ursula on-camera so she doesn’t have to answer it… Unless Ursula asked her something else she didn’t want to answer! Lol

- Ben makes me cringe so hard a couple times this episode. And yet I still love him. To be fair, that’s just every Benedick at the start of Much Ado, though. The cringy lines are completely in character.

- I decided to save the full story of how I discovered NMTD for whenever the NMTDaily email for Ben’s first Q&A episode goes out, because then it will actually be ten years almost to the day since I started watching. But I’m so impatient and excited to tell the story!

- It’s amazing how back then, these kids were my contemporaries and the Lizzie Bennet Diaries cast felt impossibly old compared to me. Now the NMTD kids are babies and I’m older than Lizzie Bennet! Trippy. It sure has been a nice ten years.

Until the next one! Happy NMTD Day, fellow flamangoes!

💖🥭🦩